Vampire Slave Series: Spawn! (BOOK TWO)

Out of Mind (Edited)

Edited by @audrey88

All of it wasn't planned, of course. The pain was unbearable and I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold out. Was I going to die here? On this hospital bed where I had just woken up from only a month ago? It got harder by the day, and the decision to terminate was asked daily. Should I kill the child I bore inside me, saving me from both death and the prospect of becoming a vampire?! Could I? Questions ran through my mind every day as I laid there in my zombie state, ignorant to the people coming and going from my room.

Jordana would sit by my side daily, telling me stories of the ending war, and how the world looked as if nothing ever happened. If only nothing did. When she left, Reid would visit. He'd explain how bad of a state Jude was in. He wouldn't leave his room. He’d refuse food and he barely slept - nightmares plagued his sleep. He was slowly dying inside, and it was all because of me.

I never spoke. If I did, they would be sounds of pain. Screams and grunts of agony reverberated in the small enclosure of the room as the thing inside me kicks me sharply. The only person I could bring myself to look at was Jake. He held onto my hand and smiled worriedly at me. He would recall our good old memories, bringing back happy thoughts: how I used to smile everyday, how everything was right, and the time when no darkness scourge our world. Every time I watched him leave with the same disappointed look on his face, I would cry silently in my room. I'd curl up onto my side with my back to the door for hours and cry myself to sleep. However, every time I would fall into a deep slumber, the thing would stab me in the side with it's fingers or toes. It's like it didn't want me to sleep. It didn't want me to be healthy- to live and nurture it.

It hated me and I hated it.

What was living inside me wasn't a baby - not my baby. It was a demon. It didn't care if I lived or died. I am it’s habitat. A space for it to live. Once matured, it would tear me into pieces - much like how a butterfly would escape its cocoon. 

I wonder what it looks like...

Would it be vampire? Would it be overtaken by blood lust? Would it kill everyone I loved and run around destroying the world?

The devil's child.

That's what I called it. It didn't matter who fathered it or who loved it before it was even born. The thing was out for blood and I knew it wasn't going to stop until everyone was dead.

So, what was my choice? Do I let it live and see what it brings to the new world? Or do I let them kill it, possibly saving everyone who survived the slavery war.

My mind was in complete chaos. The white ceiling above me started swimming and I could feel a wave of pain wash over me as it sucked the life from both the baby and I. 

What was happening?! Were we both dying?! I could feel the thing inside of me struggling frantically. I groaned in pain and reached up to feel the lump beneath the white hospital blankets. As my hand brushed my blue striped belly, a small hand from the inside did the same. It was like we were touching each other for the first time and it wasn't a touch full of hatred and anger. 

The baby inside me didn't hate me. 

It loved me - a feeling I couldn't get from Jude or Jake or Jordana anymore. Nor could I find it with Reid or Jonan or Madeline. 

This wasn't a love that started in the middle. The child I bare inside me has loved me from the very beginning, and it was something I couldn't let go of.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. A happy, yet sad smile graced my face answered everyone’s questions. The question that's placed them in a dark mood. Jude pushed it aside and comforted me lovingly again. 

I couldn't let go of the one thing that loved me when no one else could...

Something knocked the wind from my lungs, and the little hand that I felt through the barrier of my flesh suddenly disappeared. In its place came the worst possible pain I've experienced since this whole fiasco began. I threw my head back against the unfluffed pillow, and dug my fingers into the side of the bed.

My mouth fell open.

My eyes snapped shut.

And I let out a high-pitched shrill through the dark, small room.

 
> Date: Thu, 1 Aug 2013 12:24:59 -0700
> From: crystal_lufsey@yahoo.com
> Subject: Chapter One
> To: shinyee_teh@hotmail.com
>
> It wasn't planned, of course. The pain was too unbearable and I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold out. Was I going to die here, on this hospital bed where I had just woken up from only a month ago? It got harder by the day and the decision to terminate was asked daily. Should I kill the child I bare inside me, saving my life from both death and turning into a vampire?! Could I? The question ran through my mind every day as I lay there in my zombie state, not alert of the people going in and out of my room.
>
> Jordana would sit by my side, telling me stories of the ending of the war, and how the world looked as if nothing ever happened. If only nothing did. When she left, Reid would visit. He'd explain how bad of a state Jude was in. He wouldn't leave his room. Not even for something to eat. He was slowly dying inside and it was all because of me.
>
> I never spoke to anyone. Whenever I made a sound, it would be sounds of pain. Screams and grunts against the sharp kicks of the thing inside me. The only person I could bring myself to look at was Jake, who held onto my hand and showed a worry filled smile. He would talk of our memories, bring back the happy thoughts I use to run with when everything was right. When everything wasn't dark and scary. As I watched him leave with the same disappointed look on his face, I would cry silently in my room. I'd curl up on my side with my back to the door for hours and cry myself to sleep. I got very little sleep, due to the horrific jolts of pain that shot through me. Every time I would fall into a deep sleep, the thing would stab me in the side with it's fingers or toes. It's like it didn't want me to sleep. It didn't want me to be healthy and live to nurture it.
>
> It hated me and I hated it.
>
> What was living inside me wasn't a baby, not my baby. It was a demon and it didn't care if I lived or died. It was just using me for a space to live and then it's going to tear me apart to be free.
>
> I wonder what it looks like...
>
> Would it be vampire? Come out and crave blood? Would it kill everyone I love and run to destroy the world?
>
> The devil's child.
>
> That's what I called it. It didn't matter who fathered it, who loved it before it was even born. The thing was out for blood and I knew it wasn't going to stop until everyone was dead.
>
> So, what is my choice? Do I let it live and see what it brings to the new world? Or do I let them kill it, possibly saving everyone who survived the slavery war.
>
> My mind was in complete caos. The white ceiling above me started swimming and I could feel the pain wash over me as it sucked the life from both the baby and I. What was happening?! Were we both dying?! I could feel the thing inside of me moving around frantically. I groaned in pain and reached up to feel the lump under the white hospital blankets. As my hand brushed my blue, striped belly, a small hand on the inside did the same. It was like we were touching each other for the first time and it wasn't full of hatred and anger. The baby inside me didn't hate me. He loved me. A feeling I couldn't get from Jude anymore; or Jake or Jordana. Nor could I find it with Reid or Jonan or Madeline. This wasn't a love that started in the middle. The child I bare inside me has loved me from the very beginning, and it was something I couldn't let go of.
>
> The tears that flowed down my cheeks, to the smile that settled on my face, gave me the answer to everyone's question. The question that's put them in a dark mood. That's pushed away Jude from comforting me and ever loving me again. I couldn't let go of the one thing that loved me when no one else could...
>
> The wind in my lungs were sucked from my body, and the little hand that I was holding onto suddenly disapeared. In it's place came the worst possible pain I've been in since this whole thing began. I threw my head back against the unfluffed pillow, and dug my fingers into the side of the bed.
>
> My mouth fell open
>
> my eyes snapped shut...
>
> And I screamed through the dark, small room.