a hurting and angsty poem

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you make me smile
but i refrain my lips to turn upward
you make me laugh
but i'm trying to shut it enough

i feel joy when you're around
but i pull the happiness that's bound
you are a ball of sunshine,
and i turned into a frown

if they say it's just a defense mechanism,
push away to save myself,
they are all wrong

let me tell you, my dear glee
i am trying to stop you from loving me
because i know the results will just be a hurting and angsty poetry

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