The Only Exception // (GOT7 Markson)

9

Mark followed me back to the car and hopped into the passenger's seat. I started the engine and pulled out of the park slowly. I asked for Mark's address for good measure, knowing full well where he lived already.

Five minutes into the cruise, Mark was out again. I looked over and saw him there, peacefully snoozing away. A warm feeling swirled in my gut. His hand laid innocently a few inches away from mine, near the gear shifter.

I thought for a moment about holding his hand, but I decided not to.

Baby steps, Jackson.

I was not used to this "taking it slow" business. In my world, if I wanted something I made a move at it – making it happen. But with Mark it was different.

I almost didn't want to push myself too far into it. I felt as though rushing things would ruin it. Just like under-watering a beautiful plant. It needed time to grow, time to build up naturally so that it's roots could grow in.

Mark was my beautiful rose, and I wanted to make sure that we had a strong foundation before I made any sort of ass out of myself. I was finally in it for the long run, and driving down the night road with him sleeping next to me definitely confirmed my feelings.

I just hoped there was a future for us. Feelings of worry crept in every now and then when I thought of Tyler and the situation I was getting myself into.

On the one hand, I could tell Mark that I was in contact with Tyler... but I feel as though that would only anger Mark and really hurt his feelings, knowing that I lied to him like that.

Fuck, what was I going to do.

As we got closer and closer to Mark's house now, I too was getting closer and closer to my decision.

I would just tell him – better to be outright and honest, and risk upsetting Mark. At this point, waiting any longer would only increase the hurt and pain he would feel if he did end up finding out.

"We're here Mark. You're home." I said in the calmest voice I could, nudging the boy's warm hand.

Mark blinked a couple of times and looked out the window, smiling when he saw he was home.

I took a large gulp and then prepared myself to explain myself to him. I needed all the cards to be out on the table right now, or I wouldn't ever do it. It was all or nothing, forever or never.

My fingers went cold, and my palms became a sweaty mess as I tensed up, gripping the wheel harder. My voice was shaky as I began.

"M-Mark?" I stuttered lowly. "I have to say something."

Mark turned his head back and shot me a gorgeous eye smile, stopping me dead in my tracks. It was one of his trademarks in his arsenal of beauty, right next to his giggle snort and his beautiful toothy grin.

"I don't know how to thank you, Jackson. These past couple weeks have been nothing but stress for me, and I feel like you're the only solid thing that's been positive in my life. You meeting me tonight just proves that." He whispered, leaning across the gap between seats and planting a sweet and wet kiss on the ball of my cheek.

The coldness from my fingers shot down my arm and to the bottom of my feet, painting my skin a white color evocative of a ghost. Mark smiled and leaned back, his mouth curved into a shy smile.

"What were you going to say?" he said, sounding a bit sorry.

My head felt as though it was about to explode. Four million thoughts shot around, ricocheting off my brain lobes. I felt myself going to admit everything... but another feeling, the same gut warming feeling that swirled around me from before, stopped me.

"Nothing. I wanted to say again how excited I was for Tuesday, that's all." I replied in a soft and awkward stammer.

"You know what, me too." Mark happily answered. "Anyway, thanks again for the ride. See you on our date, Jacks."

And just like that every ounce of false self-righteousness I built up disappeared. I couldn't tell him now; I'd be risking everything I'd waited so long for. The special brand of kisses that only Mark had to offer. I felt the warmth in my stomach simmer down and vanish, replaced by an eerie ambivalent feeling – I was incredibly happy yet guilty at the same time.

It felt amazing, but it was wrong. I knew that. Naturally, the old me would brush it off and lie through his teeth without a second thought. But I was doing so well, and making such progress.

Was I really going to throw it all away now, just because of a sweet, soft, heart-racing kiss on the cheek?

The area on my cheek still tingling, I started the car up and peeled out of the driveway. A smug grin slowly formed on my face as I played the kiss over and over in my head.

I was wrong, sure. But it felt so, so right.