They Are Alright (Boyf Riends, Be More Chill)

They are Alright.

1585 words Jesus Christ I want to die. Anyway,, Trigger warning: CUTTING, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS  I GUESS?  I finished this quicker than I thought I would and I'm kinda scared cus it sucks ass. Don't make fun of meeeeeee ;c I suck at writinggg

Michael was crying.
He couldn't deal with it. With any of it. He thought of the way that Jeremy had looked at Christine earlier today while at lunch with the Squip Squad. Jeremy and Christine had been dating for around a month now and Michael was loosing it. He was getting blown off night after night for dates with Christine or play rehearsal or helping out Rich and Jake or going shopping with Brooke or even "Gossip Night" with Jenna and Chloe. He understands that Jeremy has other friends now, but he doesn't understand why he had to go from bearly talking to him to almost forgetting he existed altogether because of them. God, that sounded so selfish he thought to himself. Michael unintentionally stated scratching at his wrists and arms where scars and scabs and flakes of blood have been harbored recently. His vision got darker as he thought more about how Jeremy was beginning to not need him anymore. Hell, Jeremy DIDN'T need him anymore. He had everything he could ever want. Michael had even gotten replaced in the gaming department by COD nights with Rich. He went over to his closet and opened his bottom drawer where he had hidden away a pencil sharpener. Innocent enough right? He took his nail and dug it into the small screw that kept the blade in place and twisted. He continued twist and twist until the screw fell at his feet and the blade was free. He gripped it and tried to ignore his own sweaty hands. It wasn't like he hadn't done this before. He moved swiftly and grabbed a pillow from his bed before going back into the closet and closing the door. He bawled into the pillow as he slit his wrist. Jeremy hates you. Again. He'll never love you. Again. Why do you think once he got other friends he automatically dropped everything to be with every one of them? Again. He dropped you. That had hurt. He muffled his sobbing with the pillow as he continued to slice, over and over and over until his whole arm was bleeding. He didn't want to stop. He didn't feel as if he was meant to stop. So, he kept going. Slashing over previous cuts and making exes and plus signs over and over again. He didn't stop until he heard a loud thud in his room. He hesitated, but after a while, assumed it wasn't important and kept going. His heart and mind froze as soon as he heard a voice

"Michael?"

It was Jeremy. He knew it was Jer. There was no one else that could make the hair on his neck rise like that just by saying his name. He quickly wiped his tears and tried to speak but all that came out was a strangled "Get out" when all he wanted was for Jeremy to stay with him. He could hear Jeremy shift from foot to foot uneasily "Sorry, you weren't answering my phone and I got worried." Michael had the good sense to stay quiet this time instead of talking. He moved his arm and continued to cut himself. It was obvious that Jeremy didn't care. There was no way he could.
"Michael? Seriously, you're scaring me... I miss you and I was wondering if we could hang out tonight. That's why I was texting you and- " Jeremy suddenly stopped talking and his voice lowered to a whisper "Michael are you crying?"
Michael hadn't noticed it, but he was breathing heavily as tears fell from his face the whole time Jeremy was talking. He couldn't let Jeremy see him like this. Michael shoved the blade into his drawer and closed it quickly. He looked at all the blood spewing from his arm and hid it behind his back just as Jeremy walked in. Jeremy saw the tear tracks on Michael's face and quickly embraced him in a hug. During which, he came into contact with Michael's arm. Michael quietly hissed because of the pain and Jeremy pulled away. He looked at his cardigan sleeve which was now covered with big splotches of blood.
           Michael waited. He waited for Jeremy to yell at him for ruining his cardigan. He waited for Jeremy to call a suicide hotline. He waited for Jeremy to just up and leave, but none of that happened. Jeremy softly asked for Michael's arm. Reluctantly, Michael handed it over. Jeremy's eyes seemed to dart from one bleeding cut to another before he seemed to realize something. Jeremy took Michael's hand and lead him through his house to the bathroom. He locked the door and hoisted Michael up, onto the sink. He shuffled through the drawers quietly until he pulled out a pack of gause. He then helped Michael down and instructed him to put his arm under the sink and turn on the cold water to wash off the blood as he went into the kitchen. Michael wasn't going to question this so he just did as "Doctor" Heere asked. He washed off the blood and sat on the sink again. And he thought. He thought about reasons Jeremy would have for doing this. Maybe he just wanted to put "Saving someone from suicide" on his job resume or something. Maybe, he would just turn around and tell Jenna what a suicidal prick he was. Before he could completely poison his mind, Jeremy returned and placed a bag on the toilet seat. No words were exchanged as he wrapped Michael's arm in gause after looking over the wounds for a good twenty minutes while muttering to himself. Michael noticed how stressed Jeremy looked. He had deep bags under his eyes and this eyebrows were so scrunched together he might as well have a unibrow. His face was so hallow he looked as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. Worst of all, Jeremy was pale. Don't get Michael wrong, he knew that Jeremy was a pale kid, but Jeremy was pale. He seemed to have lost all the pink undertones that Michael loved and he just looked gray and broken. As soon as Jeremy was finished, he looked up at Michael and said one word.

"Spill."

And just like that, Michael couldn't stop talking. He rambled about his fears of loosing Jeremy and his jealousy for the rest of the crew. He just talked and talked and cried and sobbed and continued talking.  His breath hitched as he got to the part about him loving Jeremy in that way. He wracked his brain for a lie or a cover up for it but there was none. He could always cover up everything. His scars, his true feelings, his heartache, but he could never keep anything from his Jer-Bear forever. Despite how oblivious he is, Jeremy always found out eventually. So he didn't lie this time.  He didn't cover it up. He let tears fall as he said the three words that he knew would for sure end their friendship forever.
"I love you"

Jeremy was so ecstatic, he couldn't breathe. Jeremy had broken it off with Christine a few weeks into their relationship and they had been working together to find a way to set him up with Michael. He couldn't believe the three words that had just came out of his mouth. Tears fell silently from Jeremy's face as he realized he was the root of Michael's problem. He had been why Michael probably couldn't sleep at night and why he was hurting himself. Jeremy Heere shoved his lips onto those of Michael Mell and kissed him slow and steadily. Michael was absolutely in shock. His body froze up, but soon enough, he was kissing back and thinking giddily of how soft Jeremy's lips where and how they tasted of fresh blueberries and cake. Once he realized what he was doing though, Michael pulled back and panicked. "I can't do this to Christine! I can't do this to you! I can't do this to your relationship! I can't. I'm sorry I'm so sorry."
Jeremy blinked, confused, but was quick to comfort him. He took Michael's fingers and intertwined them with his. "Chris and I broke up at the beginning of June remember?" He asked "I told you all about it and you were super supportive."
Michael mentally face palmed and sighed "I'm an idiot." Jeremy laughed and the sound alone made Michael smile and his heart do a million flips.
"Hey, it's ok. We're all idiots sometimes. At least you can admit it."
Michael looked around the bathroom and remembered the bag Jeremy had brought in earlier. He asked about it, to which Jeremy responded by grabbing said bag and taking Michael back to his room. He turned the lights off with the exception of the closet, then opened the bag. Michael bearly believed his eyes. Inside that bag were ten of his favorite comfort foods from Pringles to cereal to giant marshmallows to Oreos. Michael wanted to cry at that moment. He had no idea that Jeremy cared so much. Michael dragged him over to his bad and tacked him, peppering kisses everywhere. He continued kissing and kissing until Jeremy was laughing and begging for him to stop because he was being tickled. Michael sighed and smiled, whispering "I love you Heere." Jeremy looked at Michael lovingly and confessed "I love you too, Mell." Soon enough, the boys were asleep, enjoying each other's embrace and company. And for the time being, they were alright.