Grif: Sometimes I'm sorry I even told you that story.You know what, fuck it. I'm just gonna run.
W-T-Fuck!
What's to understand about "swish swish stab"? It's a fuckin' sword, dude. It's not a fighter jet.
What's wrong Tex, having trouble keeping it up? Don't worry, happens to everybody. Well, not me but...
[being beaten by Tex] Oh wow, right to the mount huh? I didn't even have to buy you dinner! Oh, but I like your style!
[being beaten by Tex, in response to Simmons quote, "Who do I shoot?"] Oowww! Shoot the one who's winning dumbass!
Oh shit! This is gonna suck!
I can't believe that worked! [Tex lifts up huge crate] Oh fuck, that didn't work!
[while being beaten by Tex] Swish - Fuck! - Swish, awwww - Stab! God damnit! Oh come on!
All my life I've had girls tell me, "Not if you were the last man on Earth!" [laughs] Well that may be true, but let's see what happens when I'm the last man on Earth with a sweet-ass, pimped-out ride, bitch!
What? I can't hear you over the sound of your teamkilling!
Come on, dude, seriously. There is no way you're gonna get me to say it with that lame-ass joke. I'm not that easy... Okay, well maybe I am that easy. Bow chicka bow wow. Now that's a setup.
Tucker: What are they doing?
Church: What?Tucker: I said, what are they doing NOW?Church: God damn! I'm getting so sick of answering that question!Tucker: Well you've got the fucking rifle! I can't see shit so don't bitch at me 'cause I'm not just going to stand up here and play with my dick all day!Church: Tucker, there are thousands of languages spoken on Earth.
Tucker: Yeah, but only one that kicks ass, and that's what we're teaching him, English 101. Remedial kick ass.My sword? Fuck yeah, I know how to use it. What's to understand about swish, swish, stab? It's a FUCKING sword dude. Not a fighter jet.
[edit] Tex
You cockbiting fucktards!
Buenos días, cockbites. Guess who's back?
Payback's a bitch, and so am I.
Tex: Look down there: you can see them plotting.
Church: Maybe they're scheming?Tex: No,definitely plotting. Scheming looks different.Uh, you guys realize that I'm a chick right? And that I'm standin' right here.
You mean to tell me I'm only gone a FEW weeks... and you guys get yourselves a new girl?!
Hey punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you.
Hey, you're the girl who killed me!
[when asked where she is going] Red base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back.
[after killing one of a large group of soldiers] All right, who's next?
[playing along with Church] [to Andy] Yes, we're talkin' about me. No, really, it's me, I'm a bitch. And I need to be calmed down all the time. Or... else I get so mad, I kill people on my own team.
Well that's just a matter of penis--- I-I mean opinion! Opinion... that's what I meant to say.
[after bashing down a metal door, looks at Red Team, cracks knuckles] Okay, so who's first?
[after shooting a bunch of white soldiers]
Church: You took out all those guys at once? Was that necessary?Tex: Eh, they'll live.Church: Uh, no, they won't...Tex: Oh, yeah, I can see your point... come on.[edit] Sarge
Red Vs Blue
Start from the beginning
