NUMB

Chapter 41: Mirror

Jane

He was right. I needed to get over the past. At least the part where I got out of control and cried. Ashton was my reality, a mirror even-a vivid reflection of me and no matter what I did, I knew I would always see my true self in it.

If my heart didn't feel lighter after pouring myself out to him then I don't know what did. Nothing could have made me feel better than coming out of the closet of darkness and watching the light squint my sight completely.   He saw me when I was at my weakest and when he dragged me into the shower, I felt humiliated but suddenly he made me feel so normal and not crazy at all.

I told him. I told him everything. I spoke my heart out to him, I gave away my sufferings, my misery. We talked about how I never got to see that Bastard ever again. He asked me questions about my Aunt and Uncle and that dream I had like a reminder of the past. I vomited and vented out the devil possessing and tormenting me since I was a little girl.

Instead of freaking out and running miles away from me, he washed away my pain. He took the loofah, squeezed his captivating shower gel on to it and rubbed it on my body. I smelled too much like Ashton. I never knew it could feel this good being pampered by someone. He was all around me and I wanted nothing else to kiss my soul like he did.

"Turn around," he requested, looking at me with a strong desire in his eyes. I was lost admiring how utterly handsome he looked as the water dripped from those smooth lips. Without hesitating, I pulled his face to mine and kissed his mouth, sucking him in. Under the water, we were each other's only source of breathing. The warm softness of his lips healed my bruises. A moan escaped from his mouth and he kissed the base of my neck, teasing it with a bite, pushing my hair to the other side while his tongue grazed around my shoulder and back. I smiled and turned around as he asked, my heart was racing... it was running at full speed.

"Mm.." I squirmed, placing my hands on my face as his hands worked all over me like I was his musical instrument.

"You know I admire your strength, Hope. You went through so much alone. Not anymore. Never again, I will never let you burn. That mother fucker father, the man who broke you can rot in hell while I mend each part of you," he gazed at me in a promising manner and traced his fingers from my neck to my cleavage, touching the sensitive spots which threw me to cloud nine. These words were true with rawness attached to it and I believed him. I trusted him so much. Ashton squeezed and caressed my skin, digging himself into me, building the tension as he rested his palm on my left, touching my heart and feeling my sufferings in a manner no one would ever dare.

We were bare. Without cover. We were pure and exposed to one another, getting cleansed from all the dirt making us miserable.

"Stay here," he spoke, pressing his lips against my moist hair.

A few minutes later, he came back inside, wearing nothing but a pair of white shorts which hugged his sculpted body perfectly. His hair was still damp, covering his forehead while his jawline was still cutting deep. Knowing he was being watched, he smirked at me as his hand ran through his spiked up hair in an attempt to dry them.

"You are gorgeous," I muttered, blushing as I looked away from him and covered my body with my arms.

"Shit," I said under my breath.

"Seriously?" He flashed a wicked smile, raising an eyebrow as he turned off the faucet.

"What?" I smiled, still not looking at him as I tried to hide away my expressions. 

"You were literally there beside me 2 minutes ago. Moaning, I must add," Ashton teased, rolling his eyes as his tongue ran inside his mouth.

"Now suddenly you want to cover yourself?" He mocked in such a sensual manner that I couldn't breathe properly and Ashton knew it. He knew is so damn well. The evil smile on his face gave it all away.

"Ashton, stop," I bit my lower lip, my cheeks heating up even more.

"Hope, come here," he ordered, his voice was so demanding that a thrill ran through me. 

"Jane. Look at me," he spoke each word slowly, commanding me, luring me towards him.

"Good girl," he mumbled as I enclosed our tiny distance.

He turned me towards the mirror, his arms still wrapped around me.

"God, Jane. How can anyone be this soft.. this perfect?" He carefully wrapped me in a towel while my back was against him and he snuggled me in, helping me dry up.

We maintained eye contact in the mirror. There was so much passion in his eyes while my eyes melted, responding to that feverish need. 

"I want to show you... actually I want you to feel something," he whispered, his hot breath touching my ear lobe. 

"Yeah?" I asked confused, turning around to face him. He stopped me and grabbed my shoulders firmly. Then he took my hand and placed it against my chest while his other hand covered my eyes, deepening all emotions. 

"Don't speak. Listen to this. Focus!" He said, as our fingers interlocked over my bare skin. My heart was in knots and I was trembling against him. I knew what he was doing. He was making me listen to my own heart beat. My heart wanted him. My heart needed Ashton, the boy with the smile that had the power to save me.

"Can you feel it? The way your heart is thumping against your finger?
 Ashton asked and I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"As long as that's beating, you are alive. You are not numb. Listen to me, Jane. You are not numb. You are living. You feel things. Just the way I do."

"Thank you, thank you for not making me feel worthless. For not freaking out and for washing away the parts of me, regenerating emotions and bringing life in me again," I replied desperately.

He smiled innocently but that smile soon transformed into a devilish grin as he threw me on his bed and pinned me against his body, making my lips part in a silent gasp while my body surrendered to him completely. 

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Note: I kinda love the chapter. What about you?

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