THE SECRETS- I share with a Vampire

11. Discovering the past

Sean sucked in air sharply and his hands formed fists. I could feel them on my back. I did not stop. I wanted to let out all the anguish I stored for two years now.

"I let him hit me for every small thing. I let him tell me I am a waste of space and no one wanted me. He would get girls to the house and fuck them before me. The next morning, the girls would laugh at me and go. I was so frustrated! But...But I didn't want to object to what he said. He would hit me otherwise. And also the reason that I didn't want to live without him. I worked part time to gather my own money. I got accepted into California state university after graduation. But then, I had to drop out...Neither I had the money nor the mental strength to continue! I couldn't see people pointing their fingers at me and calling me the 'bragging bitch'. He used to laugh at me along with them. He told me to chill and it was only fun. How is it fun when every time they laugh I felt like ripping my own heart out? It hurts! And the girls who used to come over to sleep with him? They used to call me slut!"

"That is why you didn't want me to get girls" Sean asked suddenly.

I nodded.

"I'm so sorry, Sasha."

"Don't be" I whispered into his ear, "You are no where close to what he was. He was a monster and you are my hero."

I have no idea from where I got the courage to call him 'my' hero. The last time I checked, I couldn't say anything nice to him at all. It was like, the more I was confessing to him, the more stronger our bond was becoming. 

He laughed sadly, "Am I the hero? I don't think so..."

"I think so!" I said, defensively. No body gets to talk badly about him. Not even he, himself.

"How did you come to Seattle?" He asked, pulling me up and looking into my eyes.

"I...I..."

"You?"

"I ran away. I couldn't take it any longer. He got to have a life so beautiful while I had to bear his torture. He would hit me..." I pointed at the bike chain, "with that..."

I pointed at the scar on my neck, "He gave me this! There are more inside! The world cannot see but I can feel the weight of them every single day!"

He stared sadly at my scar.

"I didn't want to take his bullshit anymore.I mean, he forced himself on me. Not once or twice, every time he felt the drive! I had no say whatsoever. Either I oblige or I get hit. I didn't want to deal with it anymore. If I had to die alone, I'll die alone. I won't be at his mercy! That's why...That's why..."

"Don't" He shut his eyes, "You don't have to"

"No! Sean, let me. I want to. You should know."

He gently caressed my cheek and said, "Why did you have to face it all alone? I feel ashamed for not being there for you"

Really? He wanted to be there for me? For a loner and orphan like me? Whoever had given birth to me,  did not want anything to do with me. Someone as perfect and magical as Sean wanted to be with me?

"You are here for me now, Sean. That is the best thing I can ask for"

"Didn't Michael follow you to Seattle?"

I laughed sarcastically, "He couldn't have even if he wanted to. That day when I confronted him, he was so drunk. He wanted to hit me but I was faster. I banged his own bear bottle on his head. He started screaming and I ran before anyone could catch me. I did not turn back to see if he was alive or dead. I...I left the city and came to Seattle with the help of a friend I made. Her name was Ana. I don't know where she is now. She only helped me to reach Seattle. After that, I was on my own."