Pensive [Pansy Parkinson] ✔️

v. the part where I let you go

v. the part where I let you go

I heard you are getting married.
I heard your bride couldn't be happier.
When I think of you now, I think of wedding bells.
I think of flowers and dress robes.
Of rings and committments.

You were always afraid of them.

Or maybe it was just me
whom you are afraid
of being committed to.

Your lips are soft
while your breath is ragged
Your heart heaves and sighs
and breaks and hurts
Your eyes held promises
then they fade away,
You seem to want me
but then, you want her more sincerely.

You kiss me and promise me passion,
You look at her and promise her a home.
I don't want to break anymore.
I'm sick and I'm tired of breaking myself for you.

I realize now that Blaise was right all along.
You will never love me.
You were only using me.
I was your most prized possession
but only when I was new,
then left for disposal the minute
that I was worn.

The awareness tore my heart in half,
in quarters, in bits and pieces, irreparable.

I can feel it.
The grip I have on you.
It is slipping.
I am letting you go.

Because I've destroyed myself too much trying to hold on to you,
And you've never really tried to keep me.
Not even once.

I wish I had known, then.
I wish I hadn't been blind.
But that's what love does to people, sometimes.

Still, I stand by what I said,
I did not come all this way to regret it.
Not even a single second of it.
Because while falling in love may be the greatest form of self-destruction,
It transformed me.
And out of the hurt and misery,
I found myself growing.

I know now
that I am very much capable of love.
So, thank you
for teaching me that.

⭐⭐⭐

fin.

A/N: And so, there you have it. That concludes this book. I may or may not have met your expectations with this ending, If I haven't, I am truly sorry. If I have, though, let me know. Thank you for taking the time in reading it. I hope I can make another poetry book just like this one, something longer (hopefully). Anyway, please vote, comment and don't forget to follow me. :)