Long-Distance Calls

30

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"So how do you feel about kids?" she interrupted my yawn as the movie was coming to an end. We had started a Skype call to watch.

"Woah," I exclaimed, "okay! It's been just a few days, Avsam. I don't think I'm ready to discuss family."

"Come on," she smiled, "I just want to know."

"Okay," I said, "well, I hate kids. I find their never ending crying and shouting grueling, and I get nauseous around them always running around without ever stopping to catch a breath. Not to talk about how they always touch whatever they see, which gets pretty annoying around my wrestling action figures."

"Oh..." she murmured.

I sighed. "But I suppose I hate all kids that aren't mine. Because, sometimes, I stumble in some videos online with fathers playing with their daughters and... I don't know. I think I'd like to be in their shoes."

"You would?" she wondered.

I nervously nodded. "Yes, I think I would. I'd love to give love and, of course, receive it. And, most importantly, I think I'd love to be the parent I never had."

"Hey, that's sad," she commented, "why do you say that?"

"C'mon, I don't want to talk about that now," I avoided the question, "this is supposed to be a happy day."

"No, please," she insisted, "tell me. I want to know."

I took a deep breath and resumed the yawn that was interrupted earlier. "Well... I never, um, really experienced any love in my family. My father is like a stranger to me and my mother... well... she's not really the most affectionate person. So, for basically all my life, I thought that the day I was going to be a parent... I'd just show my child unconditional love... make them feel loved and, hopefully, have them love me. I guess it'd be a win-win situation... you know."

"I want to hug you right now," she suddenly said, "mainly kiss you a thousand times. But also hug you for at least half a hour."

I blushed a little. Fortunately, we didn't turn on our webcams. "Why?" my voice came out a little funny.

"Because you're a poor little puppy," she said, "and I want to love you."

An embarrassed laugh was the expression of the so many feelings I was having in that moment. "Well, the movie sucked. Told you." I switched the subject.

"I liked it, actually," she contested.

"What? It was such a bad movie, girl," I insisted.

"No, you're just saying that because the video was recorded at a theater," she protested.

"No, I'm not talking about the video quality. I'm talking about the movie quality. It was boring and stupid," I pursued.

"You thought so even before you watched it because you read it online," she lectured.

"Yeah, but now I watched it and I can agree with the critics," I explained.

"How about you don't think about the critics and think with your own head for a moment?" she argued.

"Really? Why are we even fighting over a damn movie?" I fumed.