The Man Who Lived In A Car [Still writing]

Chapter 1: Oh Shittt!!!

It was 12 in the morning and I woke up in the back sit of my car laying face down with drool on my face. It was very bright out and I kept hearing beeping noises from my phone that was on top of my stomach.    The beeping of my phone also made a vibrating feeling, It was annoying but felt good at the same time but not in a gross way.   So I checked my phone and it was full of missed calls from my ex wife , Her name was Paula she was a major bitch she would always complain at the stupidest things like really the stupidest things.   I still remember when we first met in highschool Spring of New Orleans 1987  We were the ultimate perfect couple.  She was wearing a tight skirt and a white t-shirt which barely takes up her whole torso God she was hot back then now she is more bitchier and less hotter than Donald Trump although not the hot part.   Me and Paula divorced early because she had a miscarriage , Well that was her reason we didn't even know why we got married in the first place.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Anyways enough about my ex wife Paula  I wondered why she tried to call me I debated on whether I should call her back or leave a message. Well I guess leaving a message would be awkward or she might missed it so I guess calling her would get her attention. Oh yea by the way my name is Paul sorry late intro got caught on my wife but anyways I'm a middle aged man with no job, no wife and no house. I live in my car outside a motel in LA with nothing but 50 bucks. Anyways I'm gonna call Paula *Brrrr Brrr Brrrr " PAUL!! YOU KNOW HOW MANY GODDAMN TIMES I CALLED YOU!!!!" Jesus her voice is louder than my old coworkers fart,  " Calm your tits lady I think you just woke up your vagina from  your miscarriage" I replied with a smirk " You asshole!! anyways I called  to let you know that I'm getting married this Sunday so take that you jobless and homeless loser" See I told you Paula can be a major bitch " Oh so is that new will be your new 'Husband' of yours gonna give you another miscarriage" That right there is called sarcasm mixed with experienced talk. "Whatever anyways I gotta go now my new will be husband of mine is gonna take me to a fancy dinner Byeee!!" *hangs up.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Well theres my life it's like a mother getting an abortion I find it menacing and disgusting I'm very biased about this kinds of situations some people just debate if abortion is bad or good but I'm just in the center.  It was very quiet all I can here is the people from the motel and the radio that has horrible audio that's  playing in the car, I mean it wasn't that bad it played nice music  but music today is not like music back then. Nowadays it's just twerking,rap,and weed music god how much society change thanks to social media no wonder Disney kids are ruined today. Suddenly a police car drove by the motel Parking lot where I was parked,  He/She parked two spaces away from me which made me wonder why a police is here.  A person came out of the police car with a uniform that represents the law mostly familiar to society. I didn't know if it was a guy cop or a girl cop because I was looking down all I can see was he/she shoes and uniform. He/She started walking towards me I started feeling nervous and worried when suddenly *knock knock a knock on my window then gave me the goosebumps I already knew I was in trouble but we'll see. I open the window and suddenly looked up it was a girl cop she was beautiful her brunette hair was tied in a ponytail and she had no makeup on. "Uhh.. What seems to be the problem officer?" I said nervously "There seems to be a complaint from the owner of this hotel. It seems that you've parked here for over a week isn't that a little suspicious" Wow she had a really feminine voice but more of those heroic women voice like Wonder Woman "Uhhhh...I had a flat tire and I don't have enough money to fix them".

             There was a slight pause she grabbed her flashlight from her belt from the back and flashed it to the tire "Hmmm it doesn't seem like there's any problem with your tires" I started sweating "Well hum uhm...", I didn't know what to say "Is there something you want to tell me sir? " The impression in her face change into an inquisitive look. "Uhm..LOOK IT'S A FIRE!!!' I pointed where she turned and  look and I quickly pedaled my car and drove (This is the moment he knew he fucked up). I didn't see anything from my rear window until a flash of siren which made me knew it was the police officer. I panicked and the warm atmosphere of my car made me sweat all over my body through my buttcheeks and my thighs. I took a deep breath and kept driving I tried to ignore the police car chasing me all I needed to do was lose her," *breathes.... ALRIGHT PAUL CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!", Suddenly the siren stopped I looked at my rear window and saw the police car turning around. Well, that was weird usually they would call for back up or something but I got lucky or maybe I was only safe for now. I stopped the car wondering where I was I looked around to see nothing but a road full of vehicles driving by all I knew is that I was out of town and I didn't where to go "Oh shit!!!".