Sagesse ☾ Derek Hale {2}

seventeen; needing answers

I hesitate briefly, but something inside sparked up a feeling of trust and I slowly move forward to follow him into the back room. I notice the metal table in the middle and all of the metal medical cabinets around the room filled with supplies.

He leans his back on the biggest table in the middle, turning to me, "Now, what is it exactly you need help with?"

I let out a small gust of air from my nose and think over the problems I've been experiencing since that night. The dreams, the voices, the hallucinations, and I can probably go on and on.

"So many things," I take a breath and let my thoughts gather for a second before continuing. "So many things have happened since I got bit and I don't understand any of them. I'm not a werewolf, I'm not like Scott, and I..I can't help, but feel like I should dead."

Deaton looks down from my sorrow filled face and his eyes wonder to the linoleum flooring below us. "No, Abigail, that's not necessarily true. There are other possible outcomes for your scenario. It's not always just bite, death, or werewolf."

I look to him confused and let my head shake slightly, "I know there are other, things, out there, but I didn't know they could happen from an alpha bite," I let his words try to settle, but my mind is already running rapid. "So, what does that mean? How am I..how am I supposed to just figure myself out? Am I just supposed to take a Buzzfeed quiz that tells me my supernatural creature?"

Deaton steps forward and rests his hands gently on both of my shoulders calmly, "No, you're going to tell me everything abnormal that has happened to you since Peter bit you, and then you're going to have to give me some time to do some looking."

I nod slowly, "I get that..thank you. You really don't have to do this. I appreciate it, more than you'll ever know," I turn to see a chair behind me and move to take a seat. "Man, you'd think they'd make a book or something for these situations."

Bestiary.

I hesitate for a second as the word rings through my mind. This time, the voice doesn't scare me, it intrigues me. Also, I can't help, but say I feel pretty damn stupid. Of course, the Bestiary. If I had to find it before, I especially do now.

"Abigail?" I turn to see Deaton watching me quizzically, "You okay? We don't have to have this discussion now if you can't handle it."

I shake my head quickly and take a seat in the long waiting chair, "No, I'm ready. I need answers. I need to know..what I am. Who I am."

Deaton nods slowly, "Well, I'm here to help you. But, one thing I want you to remember through all of this, what you are, does not define who you are."

I let his words sink in and think them over myself.

What you are, does not define who you are.

But, can you truly know who you are without knowing what you are?

I don't respond with anything besides a head nod. He seems to catch onto my silence before speaking again, "Tell me about anything unusual you've been dealing with since the bite."

I take a deep breath and think over everything that has happened in the past few weeks, and boy, is it a lot.

"Well, after Peter bit me, I started having these...dreams. They're almost always different, but there's one thing that never changes. This name. Whether I see it or I hear it, it's somewhere,"

I hold my breath briefly, thinking over the mere words that have been haunting me since day one. "Donneur de Sagesse. It means Giver of Wisdom, figuring that out wasn't hard considering part of it is my own name. I just want to know what the hell is happening because it is making me crazy. I feel like I'm going crazy."

I let my eyes rest back onto Deaton, instead of wandering the room. I take notice of the way his eyes have opened a fraction more than they were before. He changes his expression to a more blank one, before he questions me further.

"I haven't heard that name before, but that doesn't mean I can't help you. Are the dreams the only thing different about you now?"

I scoff lightly as his words, "Yeah, right. I wish," I look away from him once again as I describe my crazy mind. "I can hear better, not as good as Scott, but definitely better than before. I barley sleep, I get this feeling like chills or little electric shocks, but it's like they're under my skin, and..." I stop and inhale deeply, trying to force this sudden wave of emotion from presenting itself to the man in front of me. "There's been a few times where I feel like I have no control. Like I've been overrided and something else is controlling me, telling me what to do...sometimes, if I touch something, I can either see what's happened or what will," I stand quickly from the chair and shake my head harshly. "I sound crazy, absolutely insane. You think I'm crazy, don't you? I don't know what any of this means. I just-I need to know."

Deaton steps over to me quickly, but cautiously, "I do not think you are crazy, Abigail. I don't have any answers for you right now," A broken sigh escapes my lips and my eyes sting lightly with tears that I refuse to let fall. "Hey, I'm still going to help you."

I let a dry and humorless laugh, "How? Because, honestly, I am beginning to feel like I can't be helped."

He shakes his head slowly and sends me a small smile, "Everyone can be helped. I'm going to find you answers. They're out there somewhere and we're going to find them."

I doubt his words, but I repeat them to myself hoping they will help me believe.

We're going to find them.