losing my sanity (book one)

chapter 2: the before part 2

Clarke's POV

The sun was setting, and just as it was, I glanced over at Bellamy. The setting sun was hitting perfectly against his face. I wanted to remember this moment and how he looked forever. He seemed himself, but happier. He was definitely much more relaxed.

"Why are you staring at Bellamy so intensely?" Murphy whispered in my ear.

"Mind your own business."

"I'm just saying, if you like him-"

"Murphy, seriously, shut up before I punch you in the face."

"Okay, okay, but just so you know, you should say something now before something happens. Something always happens, Clarke."

He wasn't wrong, but I can't tell Bellamy how I feel. Well, I can, but I shouldn't.

"Hey, I think I'm going to go get some rest, I'm exhausted," I told the group.

"You're tired already? All you did today was stare at Bellamy," Murphy whispered in my ear again.

"Yeah, Murphy. I'm tired and I don't have to explain myself to you."

As I began walking to the dropship, Bellamy ran up and started walking alongside me.

"Thought you could use some company," he said as he dug his hands in his coat pockets.

"Yeah, thanks Bell."

"So, I was thinking-"

We were interrupted by Jasper shouting,

"Run!"

I don't know why we had to run, but we ran as fast as we could.

"Jasper, what is it!?"

"Do you not see that huge storm!?"

Sure enough, I looked over my shoulder and noticed a large cloud that was circling, picking up everything in it's path. We all made it to the dropship and Raven closed and locked the door behind us.

"I knew we shouldn't have come back here," Monty said out of breath.

"I still think we need to take more shelter. Bellamy and Murphy, go grab supplies. The rest of us   will go down to the bottom level and fix the bunker. Go!"

"Say, Clarke, do you like being in charge of everyone?"

"Raven, we don't have time for this right-"

"I'm just asking since every decision has to be yours to make."

"Okay, everyone, just..just calm down. We need more shelter," Octavia intervened.

We ran down to the bunker and began patching up the holes in the wall with left over steel plates. Ten minutes later, Bellamy and Murphy came down with supplies.

"Pull the top down and seal it shut."

I grabbed one of the blankets Bellamy grabbed and claimed my corner. I took off my jacket to use as a pillow and I payed down.

"Here, drink something," Bellamy offered.

"Not until everyone else has had some."

"You're so difficult sometimes, just drink the water."

I took a sip of the water and handed it back to him.

"That wasn't so hard, right?" He smiled.

His smile..

"I guess not."

"Just try to get some sleep, okay?"

"It's hard to fall asleep now, Bellamy. I don't even have dreams, I just have nightmare's," I whispered so no one else would here.

Bellamy moved so he was sitting next to where I was laying.

"I have nightmares, too you know. But do you want to know why I can handle them? Because in almost every nightmare, you're there. Not in a nightmare way, I mean, in a way we're I don't want to wake up. But I also know that when I wake up, you're going to be there, right next to me. I lo-"

The shelter was being shaken from the raging storm outside. Was he going to say what I think he was going to say? Probably not.

"Anyways,"

No..please go back to what you were originally saying..

"You should sleep. I'll stay right here if you want me to."

"I want you to," I said.

I closed my eyes knowing that I could hopefully rest easy tonight.