You and me

First and Last (1)

October 31st 2000 the day i took my first breath.

October 31st 2010 the day my parents took their last.

2007 [3 years before it happened]

The morning started off ok, it was one of those rare days when Dad woke up in a good mood, it made me happy to see him happy. "time for schools, Sweets" Mum hums from the kitchen, i drag my butt off the kitchen chair and head for the door where my school bag is all ready for me, i slip on my shoes and wait for Mum in the car. 

Dad came home drunk tonight, he would usually yell lots, most of it directed at Mum, But tonight i was the one who got his attention "YOU!" he screams at me "YOU'VE RUINED OUR LIVES" i feel the tears stream down my cheeks "YOU'VE WASTED ALL OF OUR FUCKING MONEY" "I WISH WE NEVER HAD YOU" "honey you don't mean it" Mums soothing voice slows the flow of my tears. "I FUCKING MEAN IT" "I HATE YOU SO MUCH" that was the first time dad hit me.

2 hours later

I'm bleeding, from my nose, my head, and my mouth, Mum is hysterical, Dad disappeared, and i'm really dizzy

I'm in a car

I'm in the waiting room

I'm at home on my bed

2008 [2 years before it happened]

I wake up with new bruises every morning, i can't wear shorts or T-shirts anymore, but i've gotten used to it, Mum gets sadder every day and Dad says it's all my fault, tomorrow is my birthday, witch is also halloween. The day goes by fast.

I don't feel older i never do, Dad left early. He didn't come home drunk, but he was angry, i hid until it blew over, i hear Mum crying, a door slams then the house is quite.

2009 [1 year before it happened]

I only remember waking up and getting in the shower, the rest is a blur. Mum is yelling at me, i don't know why though, she never yells at me. I don't even remember waking up today, I came home soaking wet, Mum is yelling at me again. I'm scared now, i don't know whats happening.

2010 October 31st

Mum is nowhere to be seen and Dad blames me. He makes me get in his junk car and help me look for her. The stench of cigarets clings to my skin, we've been searching around town for five hours and we still haven't found her. 10:10 pm. It's raining, and we're driving down an endless dirt road when we come across a figure hunched by the bush. It's Mum. "darling?" my Dad gets out of the car. She flinches. "Mum" i step out of the car. She rises, looks at me, and breaks out in tears " MY baBy" she sobs and brings me into a crushing embrace. 10:30 pm. We're almost home now, Mum is still sobbing and muttering something under her breath. We stop at an intersection, the roads are busy tonight. Mum turns to me and i see a wild look in her eyes. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY CHILD!" she screams at me, i'm really scared Mum has never looked at me like that. Everything happened in less than a minute, Mums foot moves to the gas pedal, her hands reach for the wheel, she jerks it to the left, right into oncoming traffic. I only remember the spinning, i was to shocked to scream, so i just sat there. When the car finally came to a stop there was blood everywhere it was all over Mum it was all over Dad and it was all over me.

I don't know where i am i'm floating in the middle of nowhere i'm no longer bleeding, and i don't see Mum or Dad, it's so peaceful. I close my eyes.

2017 September 28th

It's nearly three o'clock and i can hardly keep my eyes open loose golden curls fall onto my face tickling my nose. 30 minutes later and i'm on my way 'home'. As soon as i walk in the door i'm attacked with questions on how my day was, if i got into any fights (with was pretty often). After Joann (my aunt) is done interrogating me she brings me into the kitchen, "i've made you something to eat" i nod in a appreciation, on the kitchen table sits a plate with stale crackers and poorly cut cheese, i take i few just to make her happy "i'll be in my room, i have homework to do" Calculus, my 'favourite'. After 2 hours of calculus Joann comes upstairs. "knock...Knock!" her voice is slurred and she smells like smoke, it resurfaces something inside me {I'm young again and i'm just walking into my house it reeks of vodka and cigarette smoke, a man is sitting on a chair when he sees me walk in in he gets up with a look of anger on his face} i blink my hands are trembling. "HEY!"i remember that Joann is standing right in front of me "yea... sorry" she looks angry "I asked if you wanted to have supper" i feel to sick to eat "no thanks" she scoffs and turns away.

It's already 2am and i'm to afraid to sleep, after what happened earlier, i can't even think about closing my eyes, but by 4am i let myself close my eyes.

I wake up drenched in sweat and crying, i don't know what i dreamt about, i can't remember, thats happened a lot lately not the crying, but the not knowing and its starting to scare me.

The school day is a blur but i can remember part as clear as glass. I was walking in the hall my head down when i run into someone else, i look up into his amethyst eyes, he's about 3inches taller than me. "Sorry" his voice is smooth, its nice. "No, it's all my fault i-i wasn't looking where i was going" he gives me a soft smile "it's cool, i'm Simon" i guess i'm supposed to give him my name "you can call me Micheal" only my Mum called me by my first name "okay, see you around Mia." "ya see you around" No one has ever called me Mia.