The Adoption - Until I Find You Again // Book Three

Part Six

I stepped over Noah as he ran through the kitchen with his teddy bear, giggling like a hyena.  I shook my head as I smiled, watching him turn the corner and tear out into the back yard.  I loved this.  Lucy skipping around being helpful while Noah's happy noises filled the air.  With any luck we'd have one more tiny voice joining them.

Lucy reached up to grab the corn on the cob off the counter.  I turned around to help her pull them down,

"Hey, I'm gonna go get your mom.  Try to get Noah to sit down for dinner ok?"

Lucy rolled her eyes,

"Yeah right, Dad."

I laughed silently as she turned to walk out.  I was "dad" now. 

I wiped my hands off on a towel and turned to walk towards our bedroom.  Emily was sitting on our bed, her phone in her hand, scrolling through pictures.  She'd done that a few times since we got home, but whenever I walked into the room she'd quickly tuck her phone away and pretend like I hadn't just caught her doing something she felt was embarrassing.

However this time, she didn't move.  I walked over to her, glancing down at her phone to see her scrolling through pictures of the orphanage and Kesse.

I sat down next to her, sliding my arm around her waist as I leaned over to kiss the side of her head,

"Dinner's ready."  I said, my voice low.

She sniffed,

"Ok, I'll be right out."

I made no move to leave.  I pulled her hair off her shoulder and kissed her skin,

"You alright?"

She shrugged her shoulders, sighing a bit as she kept scrolling.  I felt her shudder,

"We've been back for two weeks.  Two weeks that he's been in that place wondering why we left him."

My heart broke listening to her.  She clicked her phone to sleep and set her chin in her hand,

"I feel like we're not doing enough.  Like we just left him to come home to our big house and great life and he's still sleeping on a crappy bunk with a thin blanket."
"Baby, we bought him all new bed stuff before we left."

She turned to look at me,

"I know.  I just...I want him here.  I want him in his room.  I want him chasing after Noah and bugging Lucy."  Her eyes filled with tears, "I want him home."

Once again, I knew how she felt.  But she was grappling with something I wasn't.  She'd been resistant to my suggestion at first.  I knew she felt guilty.  In her mind, if she hadn't been so against it in the beginning then Kesse might already be here.

"Em, this isn't your fault or my fault.  We're doing everything we can to get him home."

"If I had-"
I quickly silenced her with a kiss to her mouth,

"Don't say it."  I whispered when I pulled away, shaking my head, "Because it's not true.  And you have no way of knowing that."

She looked up at me, all sympathetic puppy dog eyes who just needed to be reassured that she wasn't the terrible human being she thought she was.

I put my hand to the side of her face,

"I wouldn't change a thing about you.  Do you know that?  Do you know that even when you make me insane I still think you are the most fascinating person I've ever known?"

She couldn't help but smile.  Her shoulders relaxed slightly,

"Yeah?"

I nodded,