Car Crashes And Stresses

    I was a normal girl. With brown hair, and hazel eyes. Most people called me beautiful. But I didn't think I was. Everybody thought that I was a great person with a bubbly persona. But, I had a secret past that not many knew about. But now, I'm ready to share that past with the world. Here is the story of one of the worst parts of my life.

    It was a normal day in the summer of 2013. I had just gotten home and done my homework so then I decided to get on the computer. While I was on the computer I got a message from my uncle Eugene. He wanted to know if I wanted to stay the night since it was Friday.

    I declined saying she wanted to spend the night at home. Yet he persuaded me to come over. When my aunt came to pick me up she made conversation in the car.

    When we got to their house I ran inside dropping my stuff in my cousin Lucas's room. I then ran to the game room to find Lucas playing video games. I ran up and hugged him since I hadn't seen him for weeks.

    When I sat down on the couch next to him my five year old cousin Logan came into the room giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Right after, my uncle walked in telling us to get ready to go because we were going to go to the movies.

When we got in the car we headed to the movies. After finishing at the movies we headed home for dinner. On our way home we were going through a green light when suddenly we got hit on the side of the car by a drunk driver. The hit was a fast as a bullet.

All I could feel was pain. So, so much pain. Then, I looked over and saw the others unconscious. I tried calling out. But it came out as a whisper. Then, everything started to go blurry. After that it was all a blank black canvas.

About five minutes later my uncle woke up. He had to cut through the seat belt with his pocket knife since the buckle was stuck. After he freed himself he climbed into the back cutting all of us free. One by one he carried us all out of the car. He then called 911. He had noticed that Logan wasn't waking up.

When we got to the hospital it was too late. Logan was gone. Lucas had a broken leg, my uncle had a broken arm and I had a few cuts, scratches, and a concussion.

After the accident I fell into a state of depression and anxiety. I had at least one anxiety attack per day and nightmares of the same event every single night. After a while I decided I wanted my family back to the way it was before.

I started to finally become close to my cousin again. I stayed the night at his house for about a week after we started talking again. We spent the day spending time together and talking about what happened two years earlier.

When Lucas gave me a box and told me not to open it until I got home I was a little suspicious. So, as soon as I got home I ran to my room and opened it. I broke down crying seeing what was in it. There was a letter from Lucas, a teddy bear and a blanket of Logan's, and some pictures.

To this day I still have those things but I can barely even remember what Logan looked like. I haven't stayed the night there or even been in that room since September 2015

Those things. Those very special things. They make me remember. Remember what happened. But they also make me remember Logan. Logan, sweet sweet Logan. The kid that could brighten anyone's day with just a small hug. The kid that would beg you to play with him when he was bored. The kid that would wake up to a nightmare and call your name. The kid that would wake up in the middle of the night just to climb in bed with you.

That boy is the one who will be remembered. We may still grieve but we should just know that he is still loved and that he is still missed. A couple months ago I got inspiration to start writing stories. But I wasn't sure what to write about. I knew that I wanted the people that read these things to be inspired.

I thought up this speech, "Just remember to celebrate the good times. Even in the bad. For you never know what is to come. You never know what will happen. I now know that for I have lived in the bad. The past is gone. The present is a gift. And the future, well we have no idea what the future has in store for us. Just know that no matter where you go, or what happens. You are loved. And you will be remembered. They will grieve. They will start to forget. But that is all in the future. You need to live in the present. Give them a reason to remember you."

I might not be able to change the things that happened. But I can share my story. I can show what it made me. I can be the girl that is inspirational. I will leave my story for everyone to see. I will break, I will fall, I will cry, and I will bleed, for I am only human.

But I now know what it feels like to be broken. The things I have been through do that to a person. I am no longer afraid of what I'll become but instead, of what I once was. For the world has changed and will continue to change. I will too. But what won't change is my past and I can't do anything about that. But what I can do is help people who have been through the same thing.

I have all those memories stuck in my head and no matter what I do they're still there. But I can put those memories into words and show people what it means to be broken. What it means to lose someone you love.

Then people may start to understand. Understand what I've been through and what I've lost. Maybe then they'll understand why I am the way I am today. But maybe they'll see a whole different me tomorrow. Everyone changes. It can be for better or for worse. But you never know until you take the leap into the unknown.

    I have taken that leap. But I need to do it again. For I was not able to see my way. But now I think I'll be able to. For I am no longer alone.

I may have found my candle. But this person. This very special person. They are more than just a flickering flame in the darkness. They are my anchor. My lifeline to reality.

    I no longer have to live in a world of darkness, because now, I have found a light to guide me. I have found more than one, and now I can see clearly.

    But what I don't completely understand yet is the feeling of no longer being alone. I don't understand what it means to love anymore. For now I have a heart of ice. All it needs is to thaw. And maybe then, maybe after I become less of what I am today and more of what I am supposed to be. Then maybe, just maybe, can I start to understand.

    For now though. I just have to learn to live with it. But maybe with those few candles I can burn my memories. Maybe I'll be able to start a blazing fire. A fire as brilliant as the sun itself and when it blows out, the ashes will be as dark as the night sky.

I have changed. But I am not a monster. I have changed into something better. Something that I wasn't before. That moment when I was about to die. I made a promise. If I lived I would share my story. I would share all these built up memories. But most of all. I promised myself I would someday change the world.

And then it all happened... I lived.