Go Ahead And Break My Heart

Chapter 7

Gwen goes home to her kids after awhile, thanking God that she wouldn't have to see Blake until the next week because the procedures gave the coaches a little break until the start of the battles. When she got home she spent the whole day watching movies and cartoons with her kids, knowing that at night she would have to leave them at Gavin's house, and also trying hard, so hard to keep Blake off of her head, even though he always poped into her head at the most random things. She hated this, having to share her kids with Gavin hurts so much that everytime she does it she comes home crying and doesn't feel better until they are back to her. It also doesn't help that her divorce is coming out to the press at any time now, but she can't do nothing about besides puting a fake smile on for the sake of her kids.

After she dropped her kids at her ex's, she went home and just lost it. Everything that was bottled up inside of her during the last twenty four hours just came to surface. She wasn't someone that used to drink a lot, but tonight she did, she didn't care the consequences that it would cause because she was off of mom duty for four days, so she could allow herself to do so. The divorce, having to drop her kids every now and then at her ex's house, coming home to an ampy house and, although she didn't want to admit it, even Blake was a reason for her drinking, hell he was a big part of it, if she was being honest.

She just sat at her couch in the living room with two bottles of wine and started drinking, drinking, drinking so much to the point that she was crying. Her sobs started when she began thinking about her son's, but now it was for a totally different reason, for a totally different guy. She was mad at herself for saying that to him, that he was a just a one night stand, but she was so nervous to speak to him again after what happened and she couldn't just go there and tell him that last night was amazing and that he made her feel so so good and special, she couldn't show this feelings to him, so instead she just went with the easiest solution, to make it seem like it was something that just kind of happened, just a one night thing but that it wouldn't happen again, even if it wasn't true, even if all that she wanted since she left his embrace was to feel his strong arms and sweet lips in hers again. But when he said that it meant nothing to him, that's when it really hurt. Was it just her that was feeling this amazing things last night, was it just her that was going crazy with every little touch? Apparently yes, cause this words came out of his mouth so fast and so steady that it scared her, and all she could do after he left was beat herself up over the stupid idea of telling him that.
 
  When she carried on with her day this morning, she thought that this little felling inside of her would pass and she wouldn't even feel it anymore. But then here she is now, missing him so badly and the more she misses him the more she thinks that she'll never be able to kiss those lips again, to run her fingers through his curls, to just be so close to him that their breathing becomes one.

  What surprises her the most is the coldness that he said those words. She thought that Blake was going to say something like yeah I totally understand it and be cool with it and even make a joke to calm down things, but instead he became angry all of the sudden, almost as if he was pissed and maybe even a little sad at her words, stop that Gwen she told herself, it's definitely not that, he just didn't cared, you were just so dumb to never realise it before.

  She didn't know how or why, but one hour latter she was standing at his door step ,wating for him to answer the door.