Unexplainable [Original Version]

[chapter twenty-two: "good for you"]

"Exactly." I giggle. I cannot wait until I'm on the road again, but before that point comes, I need to figure out what I want to do about Scott and Kevin. I'm conflicted!

"So, what would you two like for dinner tonight?" Kim asks as she looks between Dallas and I. I shrug, looking over at Dallas.

"I hadn't really thought about it. I figured I'd just throw something in the oven, or that we'd go out somewhere. Do you have anything in mind?"

"Nah," Dallas shakes his head, "I really don't have a preference. What about you, babe?"

"Well, I saw a little pizzeria on the way down here and I thought it seemed like a nice place. Maybe we could get something from there?" Kim suggests. "Do they deliver?"

"Oh, the place about twenty minutes from here? The one that's on your way here, when you get into town?" Kim nods. "Oh! Okay. No, they don't deliver. Their pizza is damn good though. I'd actually been in the mood for some lately, I just hadn't had a chance to go get it."

"I can go pick it up." Dally offers, sitting back up in his seat. "If you gals are hungry, I don't mind at all to run out."

"You sure? I'd hate to ask you to run out and grab dinner when you already traveled so far to come see me." I frown, but Dallas waves his hand dismissively.

"Don't worry about it, Joli." He sends me a grin. "What should we get?"

We work out our pizza order and as soon as it's finalized, we call it in. Kim and I wave Dally off before we sit back down in the living room so that we can wait.

"All right, now cut the act. Something has been on your mind, Jolene, and I want you to tell me all about it." I shouldn't be as surprised by Kim's statement as I, but I find my mouth dropping nonetheless.

"You can see right through me, can't you?"

"Always, Joli." Kim smiles at me for just a moment before letting her lips once more fall flat. "Now get talking. What've you been thinking about?"

"Honestly? Scott and Kevin. I'm lost, Kimberly. I believe that I love both of them, but I don't know how to handle that." This is the first time I've ever admitted that to anyone other than myself. It's relieving.

"Joli, Joli, Joli... That's what's been bugging you? I could've told you years ago that you were in-love with those two." She sighs and shakes her head, but she's smiling softly at me. "Are you really just now figuring this out?"

"I guess so." I mutter stubbornly as I cross my arms over my chest. I can feel my cheeks heating up; why do I have to blush right now? "I mean, I might have always known, but I've only accepted it recently."

"Do you have the slightest idea which one you like more?" I shake my head and Kim sighs once more. "Then I guess we'll have to figure that out."

"But how, Kim? I don't even know if I'm ready to try and start a relationship." I can't help but frown.

"How long has it been since you and Thomas divorced?" The mere mention of his name makes me cringe, but I carry on.

"January made seven years."

"All right, that's good! Seven years is a long time, Joli." I know that, Kimberly. I must have accidentally sent her an annoyed look, as her expression turns to an apologetic one. "I know this isn't easy for you to hear, but if you're going to ever move past what Thomas did to you, you've got to move on."

I've still not told anyone everything that went on in my marriage; in fact, I've not really said anything about what happened. The only two people I've even mentioned Thomas to (aside from those that knew us when we were together) are Kimberly and Scott.

"I have moved on." I insist, but Kim's not buying it. She shakes her head and I don't blame her.

"I don't think even you believe that, honey." I don't. "I genuinely believe that dating would be good for you. You honestly have not had a single relationship since then?"

"Not a one. I've hooked up with more dudes than I can count, but I've never had anything serious with any of them. In fact, there are only two guys that I've slept with over the past seven years that I've even bothered to keep any sort of friendship with, and look where that's gotten me." I cast my gaze down to the floor. This conversation isn't an easy one for me to have, but I trust Kimberly.

"Don't rush anything, all right? I do think that dating would help you greatly, but don't jump into it before you're ready." Kim says after a brief pause. "But, I also think that you should talk to both Scott and Kevin before you make any sort of decision. Maybe by talking to them you can get a better idea of which one you love more?"

That sounds like a really good idea, honestly. I don't particularly like the idea of dating again, but, I think it's something that I could warm up to over time. I've just got to figure myself out more and figure out where my heart resides.

"Thank you for all of this, Kimberly. I honestly do appreciate you talking to me like this. I'd be lost without you." I grin at Kim and she instantly lights up.

"You're my goofy best friend, Jolene. You don't have to thank me for anything." Kimberly gets up off of the couch and walks over to my side. She wraps her arms around me in a big hug and as I return it, we both burst into laughter.

Thank you, Kim. Thank you.

The two of us have no more than stood up when we Dallas returns. He's carrying boxes of pizza and bags of drinks and other assorted goodies. Bless you, brother.

"You didn't have to get all of this extra stuff, Dally." I smile up at Dallas as I take the bags out from under his arms. We all three walk into my kitchen. "You're too good to me."

"Ah, I figured if we're getting pizza, might as well go all fuckin' out." Dallas chuckles as we sit everything down on my kitchen table. "We have to celebrate! You're on your feet again!"

"Thank you." I giggle as I give Dallas a big hug.

"You're welcome, sis." Dallas gently pats my and gives me a one-armed hug before pulling back and clapping his hands together. "All right! Now listen, I've been driving all over town with this nice pizza in the car and I am starving. Let's eat!"

As I head to my cabinets and starting gathering plates and cups, I can't help but fuckin' smile. I've got a lot I need to figure out, with how I feel about Scott and Kevin, and how I need to handle myself; but, right now, I'm not going to worry about that. For now, I'm just going to have a nice dinner with two of the greatest people in my world.