Black Birds

The Afterlife.

People who survive jumping have been known to say that they regretted jumping as soon as their feet leave the ground. As someone who didn't survive I can honestly say the experience was uplifting, the feeling of being of freedom from myself. It made me feel a way that made the whole ordeal worth it. Although they lie when they say breaking your neck is painless, but it doesn't last long enough to complain. When I woke up I was in a room with a white floor and grey walls, or at least I think I am it's too bright to tell. My hair feels cleaner and my neck is no longer in that one second of pain, in fact it feels better than ever. My whole body feels better than usual but as I looks down I  ask my self one single question. "Where the hell did my clothes go?" I am wearing little more than some sort of loin-cloth. Is this what you wear in the after life?

"Yes.'' Answers a voice from nowhere "This is as close to your natural form as we knew you would be comfortable with."  The light dims and I am met with the sight of a lifetime. In front of me was three forms of Buddha. On the left was the young prince Siddhartha Gautama in lavish and colorful robes.  In the middle sits a well fed middle aged Buddha, when he was a traveler, the man wears cloth pants and no shirt. On the right a old and frail man wearing little more than  cloth like my own and a shawl. The man is bald and looks as though he is skin stretched over bone, this is the form of Buddha that lived on three grains of rice a day. Each of the men have a large mirror on either side of them, creating a semi circle around me. I stand stunned, I don't know what to do. I drop to my knees and throw myself on the floor before them, bowing in respect, unsure of the proper etiquette when meeting a deity.

"Lord Buddha-'' The prince cuts me off.

"That's isn't necessary, sit with us Ben."  I get up and sit cross legged at they do.

"How do you know my name?" The traveler answers that one.

"We wouldn't have brought you here without knowing who you are. This is the first step on your journey of reincarnation."  I nod and wait for them to instruct me further, never in my life have I felt so at peace as I do in this room. The starved man speaks,

"That tends to happen here, the troubles of life are of no meaning after death." I nod "Before we let you go I must ask you, why did you sing." In the mirrors I see my living self. Black shirt, dark blue jeans and a black cargo jacket, tears wet my greasy black hear as I throw a bottle and begin to sing. I look so sad, so broken, how did no one see it?

''The song had been stuck in my head for weeks.''  The aged man stares at me, puzzled. "When people are as messed and hurting as I was music can get stuck in your head for long periods of time and  it seems like it's screaming at you and all you can think is the words because you are to numb to think anything else." I take a deep breath, I've never told anyone that scary feeling before.

"So why does that particular song scare you so?"  Asks the old man.

"Guilt, it brings up bad memories and good ones that turned bad." The prince speaks up.

"Before you reach Nirvana, the enlightened state at the end of reincarnation you must get over things like guilt, hatred, desire, greed and replace them all with wisdom."

"Yes, for you that will take roughly seven life times."  Says the traveler. I look in the mirror again and watch myself fall, my head looking down at the sea, watching it and my arm outstretched like wings. "You did not fear death did you?"

"No sir," I say to the man in front of me. I watch as my uncle reaches he edge of the cliff, he is still in his black pea coat that he put on to go to work this morning. He must have seen me from the kitchen window before even unpacking his briefcase. I watch him look over the edge and crumple to the ground, running a hand in his salt and pepper hair. He reaches a hand under his glasses to wipe the tears before they reach his short stubbly beard. I watch as he allows mud to coat his suit and tie as he cries on the ground, screaming as he looks over the cliff one more time. Our nosy neighbor runs from her house and crosses the property line. When she looks at why my uncle is weeping she covers her mouth in horror and calls Nine, one, one. The image disappears and once again I see my reflection.  I sigh, I feel bad for them. Why did they have to show me that? "I am ready to go on to my next life." I say to the three men, I know it won't make the guilt go away but at least I will begin to learn from it. The well fed Buddha chuckles.

"Very well, your first new form has been chosen for you since the day of your birth, sixteen years ago. Please stand child." I  do as ordered and stand in front of the mirrors. The ceiling begins to look like a swirling sky and I feel a hot tingling throughout my body that quickly turned painful. I screamed at the top of my lungs and halfway through the scream transforms into a mighty roar. I see my skin darken to a caramel color and grow hair, my own hair lengthens and spreads into a course black mane. The muscles in my arms broaden and bend as my hands twist into powerful paws. I am on all fours, I am a lion. My breath comes with a huffing noise. Looking in every single mirror I inspect my new body but this lion form doesn't last long. The mane begins to turn to black feathers and my arms become human again. I sit in front of the mirror,, a boy with claws and a tail with black sleek feathers quickly covering my mane. The transformation continues and I am soon a blackbird.

"Why?" I squawk through my voice is still mostly human.

"This is the nature of your curse." Says the prince with little emotion. The traveler and the starved man look upon me with more pity. The starved man opens his mouth,

"Do you remember this day." In the mirror appears a still human me in a black suit and tie. I am in  my back yard, swinging at a flock of dark colored birds with a metal bat. I take down one after the other and crush them as I sob wildly. I the lean against the wall of my little house and weep, not bothering to wash the splatters or blood from my hands. "THIS." Shouts the old man. "This is why you are cursed. Do you remember how many their were?"

"No...twelve." I will always remember how many of those beautiful birds I slaughtered. The withered man continues.

"Before you begin your stages of reincarnation you must live the lives of all twelve blackbirds."

"NO! Please lord Buddha not those birds, I will live as anything else. Make me a dung beetle just not a blackbird....they ...I ..I'll never forget her if I'm one of these wretched birds." I break down and cry, watching as a pool of tears falls from my beak.

Authors Note : The content in this chapter is based off of real Buddhist beliefs but you must keep in mind that this is a fantasy story and is not 100% accurate so do not  get angry if something is incorrect.

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