A journey of love and acceptance (Shizuo x Izaya)

Chapter 1

//Well i'm finally back with another fanfiction ^^, Enjoy!

Shizu-chan is a monster. That's why I can't love him. Because I only love humans. That's why I can't love him.

-three years after Shizuo and Izaya's last fight and after Izaya left Ikebukuro-

A raven haired man all in black with the exception of the brownish fur of his coat was sitting at the back of a taxi heading towards Ikebukuro, a district of the capital of his country, Tokyo. The man, an info-broker, commonly known as Izaya Orihara was returning home after three long years of absence.
Oh how he missed Ikebukuro, with its urban legends and fascinating humans. But the one thing Izaya missed the most was a certain human. A human he once considered a monster because of his monstrous strength. Shizuo Heiwajima. His eternal rival, his monster.
But for some reasons, the informant no longer saw Shizuo as a monster. In fact, he now accepted him as human, and thus, began loving him as well. After all, Izaya loved all humanity, now Shizuo was no longer an exception.
Obviously, Izaya didn't accepted it  overnight. It took him two years, two reaaaaally long years of constant doubts and second thoughts, of thinking and re-thinking, of accepting and refusing then reaccepting, but also, of acceptance and love. Within this two years, Izaya discovered his love for Shizuo, his romantic love for a man. Not the same type of love than he had for the rest of humanity.
Yes he loved and had always loved Shizuo, maybe that was the reason why he wanted him to be a monster so much? Because he knew how fragile his heart was. Because he feared pain the most.
And denying Shizuo's humanity was probably the easiest way to protect himself. Because, after all, Izaya could only love humans.  
It took him one extra year to decide what to do. Because even if he had accepted the fact Shizuo was human and he was in love with the blondie, he still wasn't sure of what he should do. Should he continue living where he was, far from the blonde? Or take the risk of hurting his brittle heart for love?
At some point the raven became fed up of constantly thinking of what he should do or not do. He took a decision. And that's how he ended up in a taxi going towards Ikebukuro.
He had decided to take the risk. To face his greatest fear: pain.
And try his hardest to make his love reciprocated.

The taxi left Izaya in front of Ikebukuro's station, and as soon as he was out, in his wheelchair, with his luggages,  he began searching for his love. It didn't took him long before spotting a man flying across two buildings and landing on concrete, full of blood, clothes shredded. Still sending people flying huh. He didn't changed. Izaya thought as he moved through the crowd toward the commotion, a small smile of amusement lightening his pretty face.
People were running away. He was the only one going toward the blonde, ready to confront him, although this time, it wasn't for a fight.
"Long time no see" Izaya said when he could finally see him, less than five meters from him now.
Shizuo, who was accompanied by Tom, the debt collector, immediately turned his head to look at the oh-so-familiar owner of the voice.
Anger, was the first emotion Izaya could read on the man's face, which he kind of expected. But the blonde's expression quickly turned to confusion as the man realised something was quite different. Izaya wasn't there to provoke him and/or annoy him. He didn't know why he was there, but he couldn't sense any sort of animosity or malice in the raven's 'aura'. Moreover, Izaya was.... in a wheelchair? ... So in three years he still haven't recovered ?
So, as strange as it could seem, Shizuo remained calm in front of Izaya, at Tom greatest surprise who also remained silent.
"I'm not here to annoy you Shizuo. I just want to talk. So lets go to a restaurant please, just the two of us" was Izaya's only words, accompanied with a weirdly honest and gentle smile.
Another strange thing was the fact Izaya referred to Shizuo as Shizuo, and not Shizu-chan or another annoying nickname. Shizuo could only nod and follow Izaya, although he remained on guard, leaving Tom behind.
Both of them remained quiet during all the way to one of the closest restaurant, Shizuo constantly staring at Izaya's electric wheelchair. Only when they were sitting in front of each other at a table, two menu in front of them, did Shizuo talked. "So..." he trailed a bit. "What do you want to talk about...?" He asked, uncertain of what he should do. Kill him? Let him talk? Ask him about the wheelchair? Well he wasn't annoying him so he had no reasons to kill him, at least for now. Furthermore, Shizuo wasn't really found of hitting people with disabilities.
Izaya stared at him before taking a deep breath, collecting all of his courage to say these few words.  "I love you".
It took some minutes for Shizuo's brain to process those simple three words, all while looking dumbfounded.
Izaya, in the other hand, looked perfectly serious and unaffected.
"Excuse me? Can you repeat?" Shizuo finally answered, still not believing his ears. Was he becoming old already?
Izaya sighed a bit, ready to answer one of his usual bitter and sarcastic answer like 'what? Are you so stupid you can't even understand those simple words?' But decided otherwise. "I said, i love you, Shizuo" Izaya repeated, still serious and unaffected. He wanted a serious conversation after all. He wasn't there to start a fight.
This time Shizuo's answer was immediate. "Did you hurt your head? Are you really Izaya?" He asked with slight concern, frowning as he looked at the handsome man sitting in front of him. He loves me? Is that some kind of joke? Is he trying to mock me? But he sounds so sincere...
Shizuo's mind was in turmoil, his head filled with question still unanswered.
"I'm perfectly fine Shizuo. I'm myself and i didn't hit my head no.  I just stopped denying the truth." Izaya shot back as sincerely as possible. Honestly, that was new to him, and quite hilarious. Who could have thought one day the two of them would have a calm conversation about love? Really. That was nearly grotesque. But the truth, the undeniable and painful truth.
Shizuo staid quiet, out of words, and he waited.
Izaya continued in the same sincere tone. "I've been thinking during those three years.. about our last fight.. about you being a monster or not... about my feelings. Honestly, it was painful. For me to concede that i love you, it took me great efforts. It shattered my pride. I felt insane. But eventually i accepted your humanity... and since i accepted that you are human, i was forced to love you.." izaya sighed deeply before adding, leaning back against the chair's back. "And that's when i realised that i had always loved you. But not the same kind of love Shizuo.. i didn't realised i loved you as a human like i love humanity. I realised i love you as a man. Like a man in love with a woman." He laughed bitterly "how ironic. I wanted you to be a monster because i was in denial. I didn't want to love you. I was afraid. Afraid of being hurt. All this time i was just hiding behind a facade. A shield to protect myself. But all it did was isolating me." He admitted, looking down at the menu with a small frown. It was hard to admit this, harder than he thought. Izaya was a prideful being and his pride was being completely destroyed, again.
Shizuo staid silent, again, dumbfounded. THAT was a revelation. It made him rethink all of his hate towards Izaya. So he has human feelings in the end huh........ wait?! He is gay??.. The body-guard looked at Izaya with wide eyes. Well... it was true Izaya did had this kind of feminine and cliché gay-ish appearance, in addition to his weird fashion, but never once dis Shizuo ever thought Izaya was actually homosexual, and even less for him.
Shizuo wasn't sure about what he should say, but one thing he was sure about was that Izaya wasn't lying and somewhat, he couldn't bring himself to hate him anymore. "I.." shizuo gulped his saliva nervously. "I don't love you... but i don't hate you.. i guess... " he mumbled, surprised that he was able to look at him in the eyes in this situation. He had never seen Izaya like that before, it was totally out of character, and a first for him. He didn't hate it though, this new side of him.
"I know. But i will make this change Shizuo. I'm not telling you this just to empty my bag. I want you to love me as well, as weird as it sounds. And I'm determined to make it happen. I'm not one to abandon easily, you know this" Izaya answered as he leaned above the wooden table, arms crossed and resting on it. "I will make it happen, just watch" he smirked, but not mischievously like his smirks used to be. It was a confident and playful smirk.
At those words, Shizuo found himself slightly blushing. Which Izaya unexpectedly found quite cute truthfully. "Well that said, i will leave now. Thanks for listening Shizu-chan~" the informant taunted before Shizuo could answer anything, already sitting on his wheelchair, hand on the remote and ready to leave. Now that the serious moment had ended he could finally go back to his playful and annoying self "Bye bye darling~" he snickered cheerfully as he left with his luggages, leaving the poor Shizuo in a confused state of mind.

That day, Shizuo was unable to to get some sleep.