A/N: possible trigger warning towards the end of the chapter, if anyone ever needs to talk or vent my inbox is always open.
- Grayson -
Today was amazing. Just, everything was perfect. All the problems and complications that me and Kayley have been going through lately, it was like they weren't even there. We could just forget about everything and focus on us. Which, is something I want more than anything.
Our date was everything I hoped that it would be for her, but what really made it was my parents officially meet her. I'm very close with my family, and their approval means everything to me. So the fact that they showed her so much acceptance was great. And considering how nervous Kayley gets, and how nervous that I knew she was about meeting them, it makes me feel even closer to her knowing that we could make her feel safe, and know that she has a place to go to.
The only thing that I still have on my mind is that Kayley still hasn't opened up to me about her. About everything that's happened in her life, with her family and school. I know it's not an easy thing to talk about, but its been a few months since I've known her, and I just wish she knew she can talk to me about it. I'm just worried about her. She can put up this front like everything's okay, but I can see it in her eyes that it's not.
- Kayley -
That Night
The surprise Gray had for me today was so special, it took so much off my mind, probably both of ours. And meeting his family was great, so much easier than I was anticipating. But unfortunately I had to come home at some point, so I left after dinner. Grayson insisted on driving me home, but I wanted to walk. I needed the time alone to think.
I dread being at home. Anything would be better than being stuck in a house alone with my mother. Things between the two of us are, not the best. Something I haven't talked to Grayson about and frankly don't plan to. I don't want anything to jeopardize our relationship, or whatever it is that we have. He's the only thing I look forward to seeing when I wake up in the morning. The only light guiding me through life right now. We may have our moments and our bumps but I can't lose him, I won't. I don't deserve someone like him.
I had just gotten home, walking up to my front door and getting my keys from my coat pocket. I entered through the front door to see my mother sitting at the bottom of the steps, with an almost empty wine glass hanging from her fingers.
"Where have you been?" She slurred, jaggedly pulling herself to stand up.
"Mom I told you I was going to Grayson's."
"Ah, the pretty one you think you have a chance with? I don't remember saying you could go out with him." She sloppily spoke taking the last sip from her glass.
"Yes you did. I told you before you left and you said it was fine... Maybe you'd remember if you were sober." I said under my breath, avoiding eye contact.
"What did you say to me?" She said cocking her head, walking closer.
"Nothing." I said holding in the water that glazed over my eyes.
"Exactly, nothing." She whispered, nearing closer to my face. "Just like you. What you are, compared to your sister. What drove your father to leave me. So when you think just for a second, that this 'Grayson' boy has any 'feelings' for you, trust me honey. He just feels bad for you."
"That's not true." I croaked, still looking down, and feeling a tear fall down my cheek.
"Ha! Oh sweetie, why are you so pathetic. It's sad really."
"Stop it."
"Stop what? Telling you the truth? Like he would ever want you.. It's comical really."
"I'm done with this conversation." I sniffled, wiping the tears that had escaped my eyes. I quickly walked away from her, running into my room and locking the door behind me. I slid onto the floor, burying my face in my hands. After a few minutes I stood up and rushed to my bathroom. I ripped open one of the drawers digging around.
I grabbed the box that was buried at the back of the drawer, sitting on the floor and ripping it open. I leaned against the cabinet, pulling up the sleeve of my shirt. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I dragged the razor across wrist. And then I did it again, and then another time. And another after that. I looked down at my arm and saw what I had done, chills ran through my whole body and I dropped the blade from my hand. I could feel myself trembling, shaking. I hadn't done that in months.
I held down a towel to stop the bleeding, I looked in the mirror and observed myself. Blood dripping down my arm, black tears smeared all over my eyes, chapped lips that were uncontrollably twitching.
This was who I was.
This was the person I was trying to hide,
But sometimes it finds you.
__________________________
A/N: kind of an intense chapter, just a little. What do you guys think will happen? How do you think this will all end?
Love M ♡
