I grew up as a little girl traveling around the world. I lived out of a suitcase, everything I owned in that one bag. And I loved it. I loved the adventure and excitement of seeing new things, but looking up at the night sky always scared me.
It was too big. Too vast.
I was too small even for the oceans of earth. I became terrified of the ocean.
But, when we settled in England, I grew more and more subdued. Gone was the little girl with rosy cheeks and excited eyes. Gone was the little girl who had a wide smile for everyone and who would go and talk to complete strangers.
I went to school. I followed every rule. I began to care what people thought, because even though I tried not to hear it, I knew what the world was telling me and it stung.
You're worthless. You're stupid. You're fat. You're ugly. You dress wrong. You're too happy. Why can't you just be like the others?
I listened to that voice, and it wore me down. My life felt monotonous, and I hated that I couldn't seem to pull myself out of it to do what I wanted. I was too afraid to be different. I didn't want to be laughed at or made fun of, or even really spoken of in general.
Then, aliens began to appear in London. Big green creatures, a killer Christmas Star, and so many more. But, no matter how many times we were attacked, someone stopped them. One man who was the answer to my prayers.
His name is the Doctor.
He never stays, never asks for anything in return. Sometimes he looks different, but I can always tell it's him.
There's a way he walks like the world is on his shoulders, but he doesn't really mind so much. There's a storm in his eyes that tells of destruction, but not of my home. He has stopped them and saved us so many times, and no one knows.
Only one time that more than a few remember. The forgotten year when Martha Jones helped him save the world. Yes, I remember. It doesn't really matter what I was doing that day, all I know is that I was on that aircraft when everything reversed, and I remember it. I still see Martha sometimes, she comes in for a coffee every few days, and we have a chat about her life, although she can't tell me what she really does. I never see Rose anymore, but I hope she's happy where she is, that's all I can really pray for since I don't know what happened to her. Donna is still as sarcastic and blunt as ever, and I enjoy our little chats every Friday, when she comes in to complain about her mum and gush about her granddad. Amy and Rory pass by every few days, but they used to come in. I see them walking with him, one of the older versions of him anyway. I'm terrified that I'll stop seeing them one day, and I know I'll cry at home. Clara does the same, even once with a newer version, and I'm glad he's got her now.
I don't know any of them all that well if we're being honest. But I know how lonely he is. I see him, the version that has Amy and Rory, and he looks so terribly lonely when he walks all by himself. He needs someone, he really does.
The Doctor is not safe to be around, that's true, but it's by no fault of his own except that he can't force himself to let humans blunder along stupidly! Without him, we'd be dead or enslaved, neither of which I wish to be.
The worst thing is that, he doesn't see how much good he does. He sees only the pain that he saves us from, and thinks he has brought it upon us. He doesn't see how good of a man he is, and it makes me sad. I know he's had other friends and companions before the ones that I've seen, and I miss them too. Because they were people, who brought this raggedy, cranky, French-speaking, leather jacket-wearing man so much happiness, and then were taken away. And he was taken from them.
This man is wonderful and terrible. Kind and cruel. As human as he is alien.
Perhaps that is why I spoke to him when I had the chance. He looks old now, and he was alone that day, walking toward his box. And I just sort of, called out his name.
"Doctor!" He turned, looking very surprised and confused. Before he could say anything or ask me a question, I just said, "Thank you."
"What for?" I smiled, though sadly. He really has no idea.
"Everything. What you've done for earth, and for me." He smiled back and, I realized, that he had seen me each time I had been there when he saved the world.
"No, thank you." I looked at him, confused. "For being you. Now, I have never met anyone in all of time and space who wasn't important, but I've also never met anyone in all of time and space who wasn't unique. There is only one of you, and that's all there's ever going to be. You have one lifetime to live, so don't you dare waste it. Thank you, for showing me every time I see you, why I keep saving you ridiculous humans. Because in the vast numbers of people on this planet, there are always some like you. That's why I put up with the rest of the lot! Thank you for you." That was all that we said. No goodbye or anything like that, he just smiled, and stepped into his box, heading off to save the world again.
No, he didn't ask me to join him, even though he was alone. No, I didn't think he would. I am not meant to go out into the stars, and I am not meant to travel with the Doctor. But, his words freed me in a sense.
I started traveling again. And the ocean and the sky, stopped scaring me. The sky and the universe beyond were so much bigger than the oceans and deep places of earth. And I know the Doctor is out there, looking out for us. If he can face that, why should I fear the ocean? God sent earth a guardian angel in the form of a madman with a box, and he chose the perfect one.
I will not tell you my name, because it has no relevance to what I am telling you. Yes, it's my story, but I intend it to be about the Doctor.
I'll tell you what I've learned, though.
The Doctor may be a madman with a box, but he is still right. No one is unimportant, or a cookie cutter of the norm. He inspired me, to be who I wanted to be, regardless of what anyone else said. So do that! Dress how you want, do what you want, say what you want. Like the things you like and don't ever let anyone tear you down for it. Refuse to be pushed around or walked on, but instead stand up for what you believe and who you are.
And above all, don't let people go through life alone. Sometimes people just need to know that someone cares. Listen to what people have to say. Don't invalidate their feelings. Don't treat them like they're stupid. Let people be themselves, and be yourself with them. Don't close yourself off from emotions, even if they hurt. You're human, and that's a wonderful and lovely thing to be.
