there's a big difference between sleeping next to someone and sleeping with someone.
people do both all the time, in fact, brendon does the latter all the time. brendon's not sure if he could ever settle down with someone, even if he tried his hardest. there's something about the commitment or the trust you put into someone else, that brendon isn't comfortable with.
brendon doesn't believe in true love, he never has and probably never will. when he was a kid, his dad cheated on his mom, they got divorced, and his mom was ruined. he didn't want to turn out like his parents, he wanted to be the furthest thing from them.
maybe his childhood led him up to this moment: where he's laying in bed next to a stranger, in a room of a motel he doesn't know the name of, and wondering where the hell his life went wrong. his eyes burn as he stares at the ceiling and his lungs blacken as he smokes a cigarette. he wonders if it's choking the man next to him. speaking of the man next to him, he has no idea what his name is, and he has no real intention to learn it.
he leaves the motel room when he can't stand to be in there any longer. for the stranger, he leaves behind a cigarette butt, a business card, and a little piece of his soul behind.
