I Never Knew...

Why?

Am I dead? All I see is darkness, I hear voices off in the distance but I can't make out what they're saying. I tried to open my eyes and I was immediately greeted with bright ass light, I quickly shut my eyelids.

I turned over onto my side and slowly opened my eyes letting them adjust, then I saw tubes attached to me and almost screamed in frustration. After all that pain I'm still here fully alive, how was I here was a better question. How on earth had I been brought to the hospital before I died?

I tried to sit up but I got dizzy and my arms were in agonizing pain from what I could only assume was the cuts. "Hello Ms. Gryffindor, I'm glad that you're awake" a cheery doctor said to me. "That makes one of us..." I mumbled in reply, he either didn't hear that or just decided to ignore my remark.

He walked over to my bed and said "We almost lost you if not for your friend that came to your rescue" I was confused, I didn't really have any friends. They had all moved away or abandoned me.

The only person that I talk to anymore is Storm, he's been there for me for a while but why would he have come over?

Soon enough after the doctor who I found out was called Dr. Jessinber was done babbling my family was allowed in. I couldn't take this, I didn't want them to see me and vice versa, they still came up to me.

Jason was the youngest, he was only 9. He didn't quite understand what was happening still where as the elder of my two younger brothers Christian was 13 and he knew what was going on, he seemed kind of disgusted with me but also worried.

My older sister that was 18 and my 41 year old mom were fussing over me saying stuff like "I'm so relieved you're okay!" And "What were you thinking!? You're only 16, you have so much life ahead of you!" I just wanted everyone to go away so I could take a nap and die.

The nurses finally shooed them out and a different doctor came in and talked to me about how I was going to be admitted to the psych ward for a while.

I had never been admitted to the psych ward because no one other than a couple of friends had ever found out that I'm suicidal or that I cut until now.

Well I guess I have to, it's not like I'm gonna try and run so I guess I'll accept it. Just then someone ran into my room, I was surprised to see Storm was the person.

He was wide eyed until he saw me, then his face was filled with a look of relief but it changed to worry and then a confusing bundle of emotions as he ran up and hugged me.

I hugged him back tightly, we stayed like that for a while. He pulled apart from the hug a bit and looked me in eyes "I'm so happy you're okay! I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you!" I didn't think he cared, how could I have caused him to feel these emotions? I was nothing, just some useless trash that no one cared about. Maybe I was wrong...

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, I just- I just can't handle anything anymore!" I said to him as tears filled my eyes. He wiped away a tear that a spilled out "don't cry, I'm here, and I don't ever want you to feel like suicide is the choice you should make ever again!" This just made me cry more so I pulled him back into a tight hug and and cried, "I'm so sorry..." I whispered to him as we stayed there for a long time...