Exceptions

14. Just get it over with

"I know this is a stupid question but I can't help but ask... How are you feeling?" She said softly. Taking the hand that wasn't occupied with the IV she rubbed the back of it with her thumb.

Odell let out a bitter laugh.

"My back is fucked up for the second time, my legs are fucked up, and I have three broken ribs, how the fuck do you think I feel?" Jade looked down at her lap taking her hand from his. Odell grabbed her hand again but quickly released it as his heart monitor began to beep faster. "I- I'm sorry I didn't mean t-"

"It's okay, I'm sorry. If roles were reversed I'd be angry too. Just don't toss me like you did that tray, okay?"

"What I tell you about saying sorry?" Odell gave her a quick smile making her giggle. He started looking around and felt like something was missing. "Hey, where's Issy?"

Jade laughed softly. "She came in here, drunk of course, so some nurses admitted her in."

Odell shook his head and a long silence fell in the room once again. Jade cleared her throat. "I'm here for you- only if you want me to, of course. I know I haven't known you for very long but I do care for you. I don't want you feeling alone in this- I mean I'm sure your family will come up here but you know what I mean." She said nervously. Odell looked at her watching how cute she got when flustered. 

He took her and stroked the back of it with his thumb like she had been doin before. "I'd like that a lot."

They looked at each other for a while. Odell was the first to speak.

"I uh- thank you." He said looking away from her. 

"For what?" 

"I heard you before they put me in the ambulance. I'm sorry I started freaking out on you like that."

"Don't apologize for having a natural response. You are going through something very traumatic you have every right to react in anyway you feel."

Tears welled in his eyes and he tossed his head back on the stack of pillows under him.

"What if this is it? What if they can't fix me? I don-"

"Hey! Don't speak like that. Don't put that into the universe. The doctors are going to make sure they're doing all they can to help you." She moved closer and held his face in her hands. The tears he was holding back ran down his face onto the sides of her hands. "I'm not gonna let you think the worst and get your mind filled with negative thoughts. You're going get through this, I believe you will, I know you will." She wrapped her arms around head letting him take comfort in the warmth of her chest. The scent she wore filled his senses making him close his eyes.

Odell hesitantly wrapped his arms around her as his tears flooded down his face. She rubbed her fingers on the small of his neck playing with the tapered curls; letting him soak the front of her hoodie. Jade let a few tears of her own slip hearing him sob against her.

Lord help him. She thought to herself. 

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A couple hours later Jade laid next to Odell on the hospital bed as he slept with her resting in one of his arms. There was a gentle knock on the door. Doctor Layfe came in with two nurses behind him.

Jade sat up carefully hearing them come in. "Odell." She rubbed at his face. "Odell."

"Hm?"

"I think your doctor's here." He opened his eyes slowly.

"Hello Odell. I'm sorry to wake you up but we can start preparing you for surgery now. Unless you want to wait for your family to get here."

"No-no you can start now. I wanna get this over with." Jade got up from the bed as the two nurses got his bed ready for the trip to the other side of the hospital; but remained at his right holding his hand.

Odell blew out a breath as the woman to his left hooked the machines under the bed.

"So Mr. Beckham I'm going to give you quick list of what will be done when you get prepped for surgery,  what I'm gonna do during the surgery, and what's gonna have after, okay?"

He nodded giving Jade's hand a anxious squeeze. 

"We're going to have one our anesthesiologists put you to sleep I'm sure you know this from previous surgeries. We're going to have you laying on your stomach and we'll start from there. So I'm going to do lumbar fusion which involves using a bone graft to stop the motion at a painful vertebral segment, which in turn should decrease pain generated from the joint. But in your case it will hopefully decrease the compression on those broken vertebrae and the nerves surrounding it. By relieving that pressure it will help bring sensation back your lower half. It's a two to two and half hour surgery, but with your previous back injuries it may take longer. We have to make sure we're not doing more harm than good. Do you have any questions?"

Odell's head was swimming with a million questions. "Do some people get back to where they were before the injury?"

Dr. Layfe pushed his glasses higher on his face as he took in a deep breath. "If I'm being completely honest with you Odell you can get back on that field and do everything you did before like nothing ever happens. Which I hope is the case because I'm a huge fan of yours, have been since you were in college. But there are the somethings that will be different. You may get back full mobility but you may not have full feeling in your lower half again, the nerves could be damaged. You're going to be receiving metal rods in your spine so winters may be tough. Sleep may be hard for you after. There is so much that can happen after the surgery. I wish I could tell you that you'll be at 100% but most of the people that I talked to that have had this surgery only have gotten only feel like 80 to 20% of what they were like before their injuries. But I won't be able to know for sure until the surgery is over and done with."

Odell wasn't expected to be thrown into a world wind of emotions after that answer. 

"I know this is overwhelming but you're going to get through this." He kept quite. Dr. Layfe looked at his watched. "If you have no further questions we'll wheel you doing for prep. Okay?"

The EKG monitoring his heart began beating rapidly. 

Jade lowered herself and offered a kiss to his forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up okay?" He nodded as she let go of his hand. One of the nurses got behind his bed and pushed the unlock button on the wheels as the other one pulled from the front.

Odell watched as the bright lights on the ceiling passed by quickly.

Lord help me.

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