An inkling awoke in a dark room.
"Ugh... where am I?" He said. After he said that, a light turned on and a voice began speaking to him.
"Hello! Welcome to the world of Pokémon!" Said the voice.
Pokémon?! Last time the inkling checked, he was in splatoon. The inkling didn't even know what a Pokémon was, much less the fact that there was an entire world to them! 'Is it possible to have an existential crisis at 14?!' Wondered the inkling boy.
"My name is Professor Oak and I have a question, are you a boy or a girl?" Said the mysterious voice.
Crap. As if the inklings existential crisis wasn't so bad yet, it just got 10x worse! 'Well, let's see.' Thought the inkling. The inkling reached into their shorts. After a few seconds, they determined they were a boy.
"Ah I see you're a boy! Said the voice. "Alright one last question, charmander, bulbasaur or squirtle?".
The inkling boy was at a loss. He had no idea what to say. Before he could give an answer, the voice said "Wait, this is splatoon? Shit, sorry kid. Or squid. Or whatever the hell you are. Look um, inkopolis is full of kids all willing to fight each other over a silly stage that won't matter anymore to them after 3-5 minutes. Also, you'll have to choose between 2 girls to fight over once a month. Don't look them up online, you'll find some, uhh, questionable stuff. Wait, now what?! It's been 2 years?! Come the fuck on Nancy, get your shit together!"
While the voice was arguing with their assistant Nancy, the inkling boy started thinking about his life. He remembered his name, Jared Leo. Not to be confused with Jared Leto, the guy that played that faggot, uh I mean joker, in suicide squad. Jared was a 14 year old boy from calamari county and he mained a Luna Blaster Neo. Fucking no aim scrub, bet he uses 3 damage ups with it as well. If not that, he probably uses Quick Respawn Stealth Jump. Good thing Quick Respawn got nerfed. But back to the inkling boy. As he remembered more and more, he remembered why he was here. He was on his way towards inkopolis but just happened to fall asleep on the way there. He was dreaming all of this.
"Alright, I'm back." Said the voice. "Ok, two years have passed since splatoon 1. Callie and Marie aren't relevant anymore, Callie is probably dead or with the Octarians. Most likely the latter. Marie, well, no one knows. Not like you knew them, anyways. Well if you did, you forgot lol. You're gonna get to meet Pearl and Marina. Again, don't look them up. Pearl will probably get you on a watchlist somewhere. Marina, she thicc af, but regardless. Don't look them up. Anyways, what I described originally still stands. So once your butt arrives at inkopolis, pick a side and fight! Pro tip: Team Ice cream. Alright that's all! Have fun inkling boy!
And with that, Jared woke up.
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Splatoon: Meme Edition
FanfictionJared moves to inkopolis and discovers it's more memetastic than he ever imagined. Note: Please don't read this. There are better things to do than read this trash.
