And there you were, standing there. Being your happy old self, playing beer-pong with a friend. I started to feel the booze kick in; so I went outside and you went with me. You warmed my cold body in the night, because I was stupid enough to not bring a jacket.
We cuddled up whilst talking to our friends. They gave me the look.. KISS HIM. I didn't want to. I felt embarrassed. But as the night went by and I got a bit more drunk, you somehow persuaded me into kissing you on the back of the building outside. I have no idea how we ended up outside making out. And then somehow you were my boyfriend.?
The next morning I thought that I recalled; that you said had had a crush on me since 7th grade. I don't remember how long we kissed for. And I don't want to remember. The next day I invited you over because I wanted to know what actually happened. But instead of finding out; we had an awkward chat, and a few mouth to mouth exchanges.
I rejected a few of your kisses. I felt bad. I didn't like you in the same way, but I was too embarrassed; and in too deep to tell you. Or so I thought. The next day I broke up with you over the phone, but that was after you came to see me earlier on in the day. I couldn't face you, I didn't really talk to you either. You just asked if you should leave. I just said yes, apologised and you left. But you were still haunting my thoughts, driving me crazy on what I was supposed to do next.
I was happy for the one moment that we shared together. But it was nothing more. A moment. A moment In time that I will probably never forget. A moment in time that we shared together. A moment that meant more to you than it did to me. But from one moment to another we were no longer together, if you could even call it that.
And now I'm sitting on the edge of my balcony looking over my garden, and the other rooftops. I wish I could take it all back, so I didn't have to worry you. Dear K, you are still a very good friend of mine. But I worry that that soon will change.
Because after this summer is over, we will be going to school in two different city's miles from each other. It wouldn't have worked out anyway. Maybe if you had asked me out sooner it could have worked, I don't know. But I'm kinda glad it didn't. You are an amazing friend and I will miss your company.
-Xoxo A
