Cerebral Thunder

Hope

I wish I could talk to you.
I wish I had the strength to pick up the phone and give you a call,
but I don't even know if you would answer.
I don't know who you are anymore and you don't know me,
but I hope you're okay.
I hope life is becoming everything you wanted it to be.
I hope you're surrounded by people you love and that you love yourself.
I hope you wish the same things for me.
I hope we can see each other, one day in the future,
and forgive what we both did and didn't do.
I was wrong.
I know that now.
I should not have let you go that easily.
I should have fought to keep my best friend.
I should have fought for  you.
Now, every time I see your picture,
I feel worse knowing that I will never be in another with you.
We were supposed to be in this together.
I was supposed to be there for you and you for me,
but I couldn't trust you because I didn't trust anyone.
I pushed you away because I couldn't risk you being ripped from me.
I lost you because of how afraid I was of losing myself.
And for that I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry for leaving you alone.
I know it's not all my fault,
you should have tried more than you did.
You should have known me enough to know I was only trying to know myself.
Now, I only know myself without you.
I only know who you used to be and that you aren't her anymore.
I don't know who you are and you don't know me,
but I hope you're okay.
I hope life is turning out exactly the way you thought it would.
I hope you wish the same things for me.
I hope we can see each other, one day in the future,
and forgive our abandoned opportunities and mistakes.

- E.W. 2017