heartache // james yammouni

Chapter 21

" Yeah?" I called. The door slowly opened and James stepped in.

" Hey, can I come in?" He asked, my heart aches everytime I see him and I just want to cry, but I held back the tears, I hated being so emotional, especially in front of people, and even more especially in front of James.

" Sure" I say as I put on a smile. James closes the door behind him and sits next to me on the bed.

" Have you been crying?" He asks me.

" Yes" I say with a shaky voice.

" Why?" James asked.

" Just.. everything" I say as tear rolls down my cheek, James wipes away the tear with his thumb.

" Please don't cry, I hate to see my friends cry" James says as he wraps his arms around me. I lean into him and give him a hug, I begin to gently cry into his jacket. He doesn't even know he is the reason that I'm crying, you have no idea how much I want to tell him that! But I keep my mouth shut and enjoy the hug.

" Will you tell me what's going on?" James asks. I pull out of the hug and look at him, I wipe away my tears... I can't tell him, what do I say?

" No, I can't" I tell him.

" Why? Are you having boy trouble?" James asked half smiling lightening the mood.

" Yeah, kinda I guess" I say as I look away from him.

" Alright, well you don't have to tell me" James says as he rubs circles on my back. I love how he is so supportive and caring and that he is here with me, but it also hurts me at the same time...

I wrap my arms back around him just craving another hug,he hugs me back.
" Anna I want you to know that I'm your friend and i'll here for you anytime you want" James whispers to me as he holds me tight.

" Thanks" I say, even though I feel like someone just stabbed me in the heart.
We sit there in silence while I hug James and gently cry on him, then I think that James most likely isn't enjoying this hug as much as I am and it is probably really awkward for him...
I sit up and stop hugging James,and I brush away my tears.

" Are you going to be alright?" he asks.

" Yeah" I say with a fake smile.

" OK, do you want me to bring you some food? you've been up here nearly the whole afternoon" James asked.

" Umm no thanks, I might just go shower and then go to bed" I reply, not in the mood for socializing.

" Alright, do you want me to go?" he asks. My mind wants me to say "no please stay!", but instead I ask him to go so that I can go have a shower.

I go into the bathroom and start to run the water for the shower, I look at my face in the mirror, my eyes are puffy and red , I'm an absolute mess. I step in under the warm water and wash my hair, all my troubles seem to go away when I'm in the shower, it feels like I'm somewhere new.

Once I'm done in the shower I dried my hair and got dressed into my super comfy dirty pig shirt and my pink pajama shorts. I then went back into my room.

I felt much better after having a shower. I layed on my bed and grabbed out my phone, it was 7:30pm already! wow, I really wasted the whole afternoon crying....

I crawled in under the covers of my bed and went onto twitter, I tweeted
' Going to bed early! goodnight everyone, hope your day was better than mine!'.

I started scrolling through twitter, I ended up creeping on a few people's accounts... is that bad??

A few minutes later there was a knock at my door.

" Come in" I called as I sat up. Daniel walked in my room, closed the door behind me and sat with me on my bed.

" Hey" he says rather friendly.

" Hey, what's wrong?" I ask him.

" Nothing, I want to know what's going on with you? what happened today?" he asked.

" I told you, it seemed like my relationship with Ben was going to start getting serious and it was too fast and I wasn't ready " I replied hastily.

" OK, well I just wanted to make sure, you say all that likes its nothing but your so upset, so I thought maybe there was something else going on" Daniel said sounding concerned shrugging his shoulders so casually. He's acting like this isn't a big deal checking on me, but it is, older brothers are so annoying but they care and protect you.

" Yeah, I'm just being upset for no reason, I was an idiot to even think it could work out between Ben and I," I replied.

" Hey, that's not the way to think! just try and be positive and think about the future" Daniel tells me as he comfortingly wraps his arm around me.

" The future is scary..." I mumble.

" Not always, you deserve good things, so you will have a good future" Daniel said to me trying to cheer me up. Did he google how to be supportive before he came in here?

" Yeah, anything better than how I'm feeling now would be great, and when did you get good at advice?" I asked sarcastically.

" Haha, it's a gift" Daniel joked. I giggled and gave a slight smile.

" Well I saw your tweet, goodnight" Daniel said as he squeezed in a hug.

" Yeah, goodnight" I say as he stands. He turns around when he reaches the door.

" Sleep good" he softly calls as he leaves the room.

" Thanks" I say as I snuggle into my pillows and he closes the door. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep, and into my dreams.

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a/n

Dying bc this chapter is so emotional.

I noticed that this is a very long chapter..... Sorry if its a bit dragged out, but the reason I give so much explanation in Anna's thoughts is to show that she is very undecided.

I thought I'd put one of Luke's tweets to the side/top bc some of you need to read it, just save it if you don't already have it and keep it for whenever you need it, bc sometimes shit happens <3

ENJOY!

- lexie