The Timekeeper

Chapter Twelve

Hey Jase! I don't know if you actually saved my number last night, but it's Candice. I was just wondering, and I know it's super late notice and I'm sorry I haven't asked you sooner. Well anyway, do you want to come to my brother's wedding? It's tomorrow, and I figure we can try to get to know each other as friends there. It's at my place, not that you know where that is yet, but well let me know anyway! From Candice.

I deleted the whole message before I could hit send and embarrass myself. How hard was it to send a simple text message? Why couldn't I just send 'Hey Jase, it's Candice. I forgot to mention before, but you're invited to my brothers wedding. It's tomorrow at my place, I hope you can come!’ Why did I have to make things so awkward and embarrassing? It took me way too long to get the right message. After multiple tries and a lot of frustration, I finally hit the send button. 

I wasn't sure what to expect in return; maybe I thought that after last night we both wanted the same thing, but when Jase's reply came I was pretty disappointed. 'Hey, sorry I don't think I can make it. Hope you have a good time.' was all it said. I sighed, before falling back onto my bed. I guess I shouldn't have expected things to change so quickly. 

                                 *  *  *

After helping my mother with some of the cleaning for tomorrow, I walked back into my room. The screen on my phone was lit, and my heart skipped a beat. Maybe Jase had changed his mind about tomorrow? I grabbed the phone, sliding my fingers across the screen to make the message appear. Unfortunately, the message wasn't from Jase. But I was just as surprised when I saw Ryan's name above the message. 

I hadn't spoken to Ryan since the incident at the Police Station. I half thought he hated me for making him wait around for so long, but I guess not. 'Hey Candice, wanna do something today?' I smiled at the phone. I didn't have anything planned for the rest of the afternoon, and Ryan was always good to hang out with. 

After replying with a yes, I went downstairs to tell my mother what I was doing before walking back into my bedroom to grab my things. I took a glance in the mirror just as I was about to walk out, and stopped. I was wearing an old, oversized Metallica t-shirt and some ripped denim shorts, not the cute type you buy in the store's these days, but old, worn shorts. The shirt wasn't mine; I wasn't a fan of Metallica or the genre of music at all actually. I decided I needed to change, not that I was trying to impress Ryan, but this outfit definitely was not supposed to be seen in public.

I grabbed the first thing that I could find in my wardrobe, which just so happened to be a cute dress that Claire had given me. I looked at it for a while, before throwing it back in my wardrobe and slipping into a pair of white denim shorts and a loose blue t-shirt. I threw on my Converse sneakers before walking out the door, down the stairs and out to my car.

Ryan was already there when I pulled up, the wind pushing his curly locks across his face. I hadn't realised how cold it had gotten since I was outside helping my mother this morning, and silently cursed myself for not bringing a jacket or wearing more clothes. I hopped out of the car, the cool breeze hitting my bare skin like tiny needles as I walked towards Ryan. 

"Aren't you cold?" He asked as I reached him. I didn't need to answer, he already knew it without me having to reply.
"Come on, let's go inside."

The warmth of the cafe hit me as soon as Ryan opened the door, the wonderful smell of coffee hit me soon after. I hadn't been in here since Jace and I had argued, and I was hoping that none of the staff had remembered it, even though I was extremely doubtful that they would have forgotten. Nothing much happened at the cafe, and I was quite well known with most of the staff, so I wasn't surprised when Ruby came up to me as soon as I walked in.

"Hey, Candice. How are you? Everything okay?" She began. 
"I haven't seen you since, well, you know." 

"Yeah I know, and I'm fine," I said with a genuine smile. I really was fine.

Things hadn't turned out exactly the way I wanted them to, but when did that ever happen? Nothing that happens in life is certain, and for me to try and plan out what would happen with my soul mate just made it harder to accept Jase for who he was. Ruby gave me a sympathetic look, and I knew that she didn't believe me.

"Really, I'm fine." I tried to reassure her, but I don't think she wanted to believe me. She shrugged, before taking our orders and leaving us to find a seat.

"I've never been here before," Ryan said as we sat at the table closest to the heater. 

I stared at the wall down the back, trying to find the poem that still nobody had claimed as their own. I remembered then what Jase had said to me when I was reading it. 'I see you're admiring my work.' It did make me wonder if he had written it, or if he was even interested in poetry or writing. Surely he had some hobby other than stealing, and I was yet to find out what it was.

"I come here all the time. It combines my love of books and coffee together, it's perfect." I smiled as I looked back at Ryan. 

When our drinks came, we moved to the back of the cafe and sat against one of the bookshelves. It was a pretty busy afternoon, actually it was probably the busiest I had ever seen the cafe. It was always a quiet place, but today it wasn't.

"Here." I broke out of my thoughts as Ryan handed me a book from one of the shelves we were leaning on, though I wasn't really sure what to do with it. I looked at the cover; 'Lost Soul' in big letters covered most of the dark picture.

"It's about a guy who spends his whole life searching for his 'soul mate', only to get to the end and realise that it was his best friend. But then it's too late and she ends up dying of cancer."

"Gosh that sounds awful. Why would you want to read that?" I said in horror, but Ryan only chuckled.

"He still ends up happy, which I guess it shows that you don't need a soul mate to enjoy life. It's one of my favourites." 

I understood why now. Ryan felt like he could connect with the book, because he too had lost him soul mate. He wanted to move on with his life, and be happy even in a society that revolved around being with the person you belonged to. It was heartbreaking, but at the same time, I could tell he was starting to get through it.

"Do you ever wonder what she would've been like? Or what her name was?" I asked without much thought. It was still a touchy subject, and I had just caused all those unwanted feelings to rise to the surface for him.

"Of course. I don't think there will ever be a time when I don't think about her," he sighed, before continuing.
"I dream about it, what meeting her for the first time would have been like. What her name was, how her voice sounded, the way she walked, everything. Sometimes her face is visible, and it's nobody I have seen before that I think it must actually be her. But other times, it's just another girl's face I see instead of hers."

He looked up at me then, his green eyes glassy through fallen strands of his tousled hair. I hadn't realised that the distance between us had shrunk, and I wasn't sure when it had happened. My heart had sped up as well, but I wasn't sure why. The words that left Ryan's lips didn't help my heart either, but made it a lot worse.

"Sometimes, the girl I'm staring at is you."