{t.j}sightlines{j.d}

chapter one - standing in front of you

   Tyler pushes me against the side of the bus, and his lips attach to the side of my neck. I wrap my fingers in his soft hair and try to keep myself in the moment the best I can.
"Don't you have to go, Tyler?" I manage to moan out as Tyler hikes my skirt up to my waist.
"Yeah, but I have just enough time to get you nice and ready before I fuck the shit out of you later tonight," he states with an unwavering tone. His left hand pulls my underwear and my tights down to my knees, while the other sneaks its way into my folds. "Oh, you're so damn wet for me, baby. Aren't you glad I keep you around?" His lips settle to suck right below my right ear, and his tongue occasionally glides itself across the skin.
    His fingers don't enter me, they just rub over my lips, almost giving me what I want but not quite. I know he wants me to beg for him, but I don't want to do it when someone could come along any moment.
  "Come on little girl, beg for it, show me how much you want it," he growls in to my ear.
"P-please Tyler, I need you," I whisper, my cheeks tinting the color of his suit.
   He takes his hand away, and I look at him with pleading eyes. "C'mon. Open your legs up, say it louder, I know you can do better than that you little slut."
   I try to throw caution away, and I open my legs up more. "Please rub my clit daddy, please make me come for you," I whine louder as I look into his eyes. "Please I'll-"
The door slams from the other side of the bus, and I jump before Tyler pushes himself away from me and walks around to the door.
I fluster to pull my tights up, and hope Tyler will distract whoever it is.
    "Are you ready to go man?" I hear tyler ask someone, probably Josh.
   "You go ahead, I have to grab something first," Josh replies.
   I watch Tyler walk away to the stage door, and he doesn't even glance at me. His steps are sure and soundless, and I know that the stage is the only place he is sure he wants to be at. I'm not selfish enough to insinuate that he has to give up the thing he truly loves for me, but it's a hard burden for me to carry.
I love him.

   Josh walks around from the other side of the bus, and looks at me with an expression that reflects both disappointment and some sad form of care. His eyes drop to my feet, and study how they strain for comfort in my cherry red pumps. "You... Have a goodnight." He glances back up at me for a moment, before sliding his hands in his pockets and walking towards the back entrance.
   Back inside the tour bus, I look at my reflection in the tiny bathroom mirror. There must be something
in my face that makes Tyler want me. Sometimes my face is a mask, because I cannot feel myself in my own skin.
   "goodnight," I whisper to myself. I turn around
and leave my reflection behind. Maybe tomorrow I will ask them so I can understand why they act like they do. Or maybe I won't.