Last Hope {a paramore fanfiction}

Chapter Ten

After ten minutes of walking on the sidewalk, we got to the bottom of a hill, before deciding to change the jog to a hike. "You best be getting me a three course breakfast," I laughed, as we started up the hill. All Taylor did was laugh and hold out his hand to steady me as I walked on some boulders, the way little kids do. It was a day of being a child, but also feeling very grown up and having those grown up feelings.

We reached the peak of the hike about 45 minutes later. I looked out over LA and sighed. There were such bad memories linked to it. The idea of Sam and that it was scary when I came here at 16 with nothing. It also had amazing memories. Being given $50 by a kind stranger when I sat on the street. If I didn't have that I wouldn't have bought dinner from the diner where I heard a guy with scruffy jeans tap out a song on a table. I wouldn't have gotten up and asked him what he was writing. But I did. He was Micheal. And we spent the night writing the song, letting him play my guitar whilst I sang covers of Nirvana and The Police and gleaming with joy when the people in the diner gave us tips or cheered. LA was were I also met Frank and Dan. Where "Please Clarify" was born, and where we played gigs in stingy bars, lying about my age so I could play there and then finally being spotted one night by a guy who was at the diner that night a few months back. He signed us and we started making a record. LA had good memories. Great ones. And in this moment it looked as if it was the most beautiful thing on earth. "Bethan?" Taylor said and I looked to him. I was wrong. LA was second best.

"Yeah?" I said, smiling. "Can we get a picture together?" He asked. I wanted one badly. "Why wouldn't we?" I laughed. We stopped a few people who were coming down from a higher peak to take a picture of us against the LA backdrop. Taylor wrapped his arm around my waist and I leaned my head on his shoulder, smiling. Not forcing one, just one happening naturally. We started the journey down and the morning sun became harsher. I began to sweat and pulled down the zip of my hoodie, allowing it to fall open and let air hit my chest. "I was watchin-" Taylor started but cut himself off when he turned to look at me. He blushed. Taylor? Blushing because of what? Me? My body? I pushed away the thought. I wasn't lucky to have a generous chest compared to my body, but the sports bra gave me slight cleavage. Guys were always distracted by a girls boobs. But still, it felt nice I could make Taylor feel that way.

It was 9.30 when we had reached Gino's. We ordered the Italian breakfast for two, which consisted mainly of sweet pastries, and then two frothy cappuccinos, with a shot of the strongest expresso. We ordered the strongest kind just for fun and regretted it when it killed most of our tastebuds.

I stood at the gates of my apartment at around 10.10 with Taylor standing before me, his hands in his pockets. I knew I'd be seeing him later but I didn't want to say goodbye. "Right, well, I'll see you later," he sighed. I smiled, a pained one. I was sad to see him go. "You'll see me at 7," I laughed. "I know... Just we all want the most of a good thing," he said. I awkwardly paused, caught off guard by what he said. "Urm...I'll pick you up? Be ready for 6.45?" He asked. I nodded quickly. He slowly took me into a tight squeeze. I wrapped my arms around him. I wanted to cry. I felt as if I wouldn't have many moments with Taylor like this. That he'd be lost to me one day.

I spent the rest of the day, finishing clearing my apartment. I started as soon as the morning after writing "Last Hope," bundling any memories of Sam in sacks for the dump. I poured the expensive scotch down the sink, threw out the over flowing ash trays. The smell of him faded, cheering me up immensely. I also made soda bread.

Soda bread is an irish brown bread and Hayley was telling me how she loved the stuff whenever she was in Ireland. I hadn't ever been to Ireland, but felt connected to it and to my roots. There was always something pulling me back. But that part of my life was hazy. And it isn't time to talk about it.