Bucket List | Jack Duff

s i x

This is where true love will start. Here, in the middle of a holiday club after they've just had their first proper dance together. This is the start of something new for them both.

It was nearing half eleven, and Jack kept pulling his phone out of his pocket every now again to check the time. It was like he was waiting for some thing, maybe a call or a text and it was only when it was closing in on midnight that Jack whispered something in Andy's ear and he nodded. He then proceeded to stand up and grab my hand, leading me out of the night club and into the night air.

"Where are you taking me all of a sudden?" I chuckled as he walked me passed the small playground and up one of the paths to the beach. He pulled out some paper from his pocket and I knew it was my bucket list.

He'd taken it out of the pocket now - it had taken a lot of convincing on mine and Andy's part and we had to reassure him that it wouldn't get ripped and it must've taken us over an hour on convincing but we got there in the end.

"Read goal number four" he said, handing it me. "Everything will make sense"

[[ Walk along the beach past midnight with Jack ]]

I smiled at him before he grabbed my hand, taking me by surprise at first but then our fingers mounded together perfectly.

"I couldn't think of any other way that I'd want to spend my night" I said and he smiled at the ground, giving my hand a squeeze before he stepped onto the beach with me.

It had always been a big thing for me to walk around at night. I'd always preferred to walk around in the dark rather than walk around when I could see the light - it was so peaceful and perfect to walk around in the dark, listening to all of the sounds that came as a package deal with all the darkness. There was so much empathy with walking around in the dark, always some type of joyous feeling which I was never able to grasp during the day.

There was nobody I could think of that I wanted to walk with more than with Jack. Being alone at this time with my best friend made it easy to grasp onto the fact that he was real, grasp onto the fact that I'd really managed to keep hold of him all my life and just be able to grasp the serenity of the situation.

"You're so perfect" Jack suddenly mumbled as we stopped to stare out at the moon that was hanging precariously over the sea. "Honestly, you're so perfect in every damn way"

My heart fluttered a little.

"Hush Jack" I said, nudging him a little with the corner of my elbow. "You're making me blush"

"Lying is a sin so I will not lie" he said, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. "You're so perfect in every damn way - with everything that's been happening these past few weeks I've been trying to grapple onto serenity in situations and this happens to be one of them moments. I'm so thankful to be here with you in this moment and there's nobody else i would rather be here with. Thank you for being here"

There are moments, specifically moments like this one where I forget I'm walking around with Stage 4 cancer. Jack was like a breath of fresh air - he was the reason I forgot about what was happening inside of me, he was the reason I spent every day like it was my last and he was the reason I'd learned to hold onto the tethers of life and not let them loose. He was the person I would consider to be my rock, and I never would've been able to get through half of the stuff I do without him.

"I'm so lucky to have you" I said softly, leaning my head on his shoulder; I wasn't able to find many words as the thoughts i my head wouldn't form into sentences. "Thank you for absolutely everything you've done for me Jack. I'm never going to be able to express to you the extent of how much you mean to me and how thankful I am for you so just take this as my thank you. So many thoughts won't fathom into words but you know what I'm getting at"

"My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations" Jack said softly, quoting a line from one of my favourite books. He smiled widely at me as we began to walk back along the beach again, right to the end of it where another path was laid to lead us back up to the never-ending sea of caravans.

"I couldn't have asked tonight to go any better, thank you" Jack said. "I spent the most perfect night with my best friend and now we get to go back to a silent caravan. All the boys wil be flat out and it will just be you and me for the rest of tonight and that makes me very happy"

I chuckled at him.

"How about we watch Me Before You when we get in?" I said to him and I knew there was no way he would be able to pass down such a romantic movie. "To end a perfect night?"

"Sounds fantastic" he smiled as we walked hand in hand back towards where our caravan was - anybody passing us who didn't know our relationship would probably thought of us as too in-love teenagers. "Although be warned, I'm feeling emotional already so I may cry"

"More than usual?" I chuckled. "God help me"

He shoved me a little as we shared small chat back to the caravan. The song "Yellow" by Coldplay raced around my head as we walked, the sky shining bright stars down upon us as we walked along the desolate paths.

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you"