Restless Heart

Chapter Two

During the Panel, Jared tried to focus on anything but you and the letter. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't.
Jensen would nudge his side, snapping him out of his daze. But then he would hear a simple word that reminded him of you and go back to that letter.
"So, Jared has something extremely important and exciting he'd like to share with you all." Rob muttered.
The crowd was quiet and Jared knew it was time to tell them about his engagement with Gen.
The crowd roared with applause, snapping pictures and some even screamed 'OTP' Jared and the others all shot their gaze over to the right side of the stage, where Gen was standing, waving at the audience.
Jared couldn't help but swallow hard as he met her gaze. He loved her. He really did, but something felt off and he couldn't figure out why.
She made her way over to his side, and quickly pressed her lips against his. "Hey babe." She smiled.
"Oh look! Sam and Ruby, the power yet demonic couple." Rich exclaimed, making everyone in the room laugh.
"You ready to tell them?" She whispered just loud enough for him to hear.
He forced a smile, and nodded, propping up on to his feet. She intertwined her fingers with his as they both turned to face the crowd.
"Gen and I are getting married." He yelled.
Everyone screamed, jumping out of their seats and cheering. Gen was all smiles, her face was red and her eyes glistened under the spot lights. She was beautiful. Breath taking. And Jared knew how lucky he was to have someone like her want to spend the rest of her life with him. But he couldn't shake you off.

As the panel came to an end, you were trying to keep your composure. You decided to meet up with Felicia and Osric out by the walking dead panel.
They were both cosplaying as characters, and you felt out of place.
"So why aren't you with Jared right now?" Osric asked, fixing his wig.
You shrugged your shoulders, taking in a deep breath. "It's the same thing every year. Besides, he has Gen now." Just by saying that, you felt your stomach churn.
"Speaking of Jared-" Felicia muttered. "He's right over there."
You slowly turned your gaze over, feeling your heart begin to race.
He was standing with Jensen and Misha at the autograph table, laughing about whatever they were talking about.
He looked so happy, and it killed you because now you know that he doesn't feel the same for you. If he did, he would've ran to you, right?
You cleared your throat, and turned your attention back to Osric, and smiled. "Wanna go to the beach tonight? Have a little bonfire?" He and Felicia flashed a smile, and nodded. "Fuck yeah!" They both squealed.
You let out a soft chuckle, until you felt warm hands cover your eyes completely. "Guess who?"
That voice sent shivers through out your body. It was a voice you knew very well.
"Gen." You yelped.
She chuckled, giving you a tight hug and pecking your cheek. "Hey girly." She smiled.
"Hey." You stammered, feeling guilt and also agony wash over you.
You swallowed hard, trying to even your breathing and pretend as if everything were fine.
"So I just talked to Jared and Jensen, maybe we could all go out for some drinks after this?" She muttered.
"Well we were all thinking about going to the beach tonight. You all should come. It'd be fun!"
You froze in your stance, feeling as if every inch of you turned into solid cement.
"Oh my gosh that sounds amazing."
Jared was preoccupied with his fans to even notice what was happening a few feet away from him.
Until a girl with long brunette hair, who was cosplaying as Dean Winchester, made her way up to Jared. A smile was plastered on to her face, along with tears streaming down her cheeks.
He leaned over, taking her hand into his, making her shudder.
"H-hi!" She smiled. "I'm sorry, I'm really nervous."
He let out a chuckle, shaking his head. "It's okay babe. Just breathe."
She did as she was told and took in two deep breaths. "I just wanna say that you have inspired me so much. And I don't know where I would be without you." She blurted out, crying harder now.
He flashed a soft smile, and pulled her in as much as he could.
"Thank you, that really means so much to me." He whispered.
She slid the photo of him and Jensen over, along with a pen for him to use.
He signed his name, along with a smiley face and handed it back to her. "Hope to see you again soon. And thanks for the kind words."
She flashed a smile, feeling as if her life has been officially made. "Also, I want to congratulate you on your engagement!" She squealed.
His lips curved up, and he nodded shyly. "Thank you."
The next fan appeared right before his eyes, dressed as Abaddon.
"Can I just say that supernatural has saved my life. You and Jensen mean so much to me, it's crazy." She was shaking as she stood before him.
He let out a chuckle, and leaned over, taking her hand. "And you mean so much to us."
He cheeks burned, and her heart felt as if it had skipped a beat.
"Are you and Y/N okay?" She asked. "Because we haven't seen her today, and you both haven't had a tweet war in a while."
Jared swallowed hard, forcing himself to smile. "Y-yea! Y/N and I are great. We have just been super busy." He stated. "But she's here."
Her lit up and she clapped her hands together. "Good! Because you guys are seriously my OTP. I know you are engaged to Gen and all, but I really think you and Y/N are perfect for each other." She blurted.
Jared only chuckled, feeling his stomach flutter as he waved her good bye.
Jensen nudged his side, capturing his attention. "See, I'm not the only one who thinks that." He whispered.
Jared playfully rolled his eyes, until he met your silhouette.
You were standing there, with your fake smile you always put on whenever you felt uncomfortable.
Jared knew you like the back of his hand. Though sometimes he can't tell whether you are lying or not, he knows that you cry when your upset. He knows that during awkward situations, you can't help but to giggle. He knows that no matter what, you will bend over backwards for anyone you love. And those were just some of the things he loved about you.
His attention was caught by gen who was only standing a few inches next to you. His stomach was churning and the memory of the letter flooded his mind.
This was going to be a long day.

Hours passed, and you and some of the crew were all huddled at the beach, laughing over drinks and some food.
You were with Misha, Richard and Rob, talking about Star Wars.
"But see, what I don't get is why they decided to start it on episode 4? I mean, wouldn't it make sense to start at the beginning!" Rob exclaimed taking a swig of his beer.?
"What start at the beginning?" Jensen grunted as he made his way over.
You turned to meet his gaze, only to meet brown caramel eyes.
Jared flashed clenched his jaw shut, pursing his lips as he shot his gaze elsewhere.
Was he really that pissed off at you?
Jensen took you in for a tight hug.
"We were just talking about Star Wars." Rich stated.
Jensen nodded and flashed a smirk. "Of course you dorks were."
You playfully swatted his arm and scrunched your nose at him. "Hey, don't you dare make fun of us geeks. You're just mad because you aren't as awesome as us." You said matter of fact.
He tilted his head back and belted out into laughter. "Yea okay." He stated.
As hours rolled by, you have caught yourself glancing over at Jared. Who not once have you the time of day.
Everyone noticed there was tension, but didn't want to pry into what happened.
"We need more beers!" Felicia yelled, curling up next to Osric.
"I'll get them." You started for the truck, that was parked up over the small hill.
"I'll help." Jared followed close behind, making your heart beat rapidly.
As you unlocked the trunk to the truck, jared opened the cooler.
You felt your stomach twist, and your heart pound profusely, thudding in your ears.
"Thanks." You whispered.
"Don't mention it." He snarled.
It might be the alcohol or even the adrenaline pulsing through, but whatever it was, you just couldn't take it anymore. "Jared please don't be like this." You muttered.
He snapped his gaze to you, growing with rage. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He grunted. "How else am I suppose to be? Happy? You fucking wrote me a letter, didn't even have the decency to say it to my face."
"I was scared!" You yelped. Feeling the tears begin to well.
"That was a slap in the face. You saying goodbye without giving me a chance to say anything, hurts." He groaned.
"What is there to say Jared?! You're engaged! You and Gen are going to get married!" You felt your voice raise. "There's nothing you can say. I'm too late." With the last word, the tears broke through the seal and stained your cheeks.
Jared felt a lump form in his throat. He hated seeing you cry, especially when it was him who caused you to cry in the first place. "Y/N, for six years now, you have been the only girl I could count on in my life. Other than my mom and sister of course." He lightly chuckled. "You are probably one of the most important people in my life. And reading that letter killed me. It felt like you just-"
You lingered on every word he spewed, waiting for him to spit out whatever he was holding back.
"Why didn't you tell me before I proposed? I mean you had a lot of chances Y/N. We stayed up until 4 in the morning playing video games! I helped you paint your apartment for three days! I even spent the night at your place countless of times! Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Would it have made a difference?" Your voice shook.
This was it, the moment he waited for. To finally have the chance to come out and say that he loves you. But as he opened his mouth to speak, he was interrupted by the sounds of footsteps.
"Damn, did you two get lost or something?" Matt cackled, reaching for the cooler.
Jared cleared his throat, forcing a crooked smile. "Yea, almost thought we were in the North Pole." He said sarcastically.
Matt belted out in laughter as they started back towards the bonfire.
You felt as if you were glued in your shoes. Not able to move.
You had one question roaming your mind.
What was he going to say?