Letting Go (A Doctor Who FanFic)

Chapter One

The Doctor adjusted his bow tie before grabbing his companion's hand. "Come along, Rose Tyler! There's a whole universe beyond those doors!"

He spun her around in a sort of dance, humming out a strange tune. Rose laughed, smiling widely, brilliantly, as she danced and hummed with him, easily picking up the tune.

After what felt like hours of dancing, both Rose and the Doctor collapsed to the T.A.R.I.S. floor, laughing and completely out of breath. They were content to just lie there, listening to the sound of the T.A.R.D.I.S.'s soothing hums and noises, fingers intertwined in a loving embrace. They were content to just bask in each other's presence.

Suddenly, Rose rolled on top of him, and the Doctor let out a small 'oof!' as her weight settled on top of him. Taking her free hand, she placed it on his cheek. He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch.

"You've regenerated."

"Well," he replied, opening his eyes. "The old me was getting a bit tacky, don't you think? Too serious! But what's more fun than a new new new Doctor?" HE smiled, remembering the old joke they'd shared so long ago. Apparently, so did Rose, as she giggled and kissed his nose, causing a massive blush to spread across his face, No other being in the universe could do that.

Ross rolled of him, still giggling, and gestured to the console room around them, using both her hands, including the one still attached to the Doctor's. "And you've redecorated! I love it!"

As the Doctor watched her face light up at the prospect of a new T.A.R.D.I.S. to explore, he tried to ignore how everything else was a bit fuzzy, a bit unclear. He attempted to dismiss the fact that everything around Rose was brighter, especially when she smiled, like the light was drawn to her. He tried to shove it all away, to the darkest corner of his mind, because he knew what it meant and he refused to accept it.

So, avoiding all the signs, he said, "I love you, Rose Tyler."

Rose's smile fell away, and she sat up, looking at him. "Doctor...you have to let me go."

"No." His chin quivered when he spoke. "No, I-I can't—"

"Doctor..." She smiled faintly. "I've been gone for a long time. You can't keep holding onto the past."

The Doctor grinned wryly. "Holding onto the past is what made me who I am."

Rose sighed. A tiny noise, but it radiated grief and emotion. "I love you, too, Doctor. The whole universe knows. But I moved on. I had to, otherwise, I would've fallen apart." She laid back down, staring at the ceiling. "You have no idea how many nights, after our first good-bye, I stayed on the beach, watching the stars, wishing...hoping. But you never came back. You couldn't. Mum had to drag me away kicking and screaming." She laughed quietly, and the Doctor could see the tears streaming down her face.

"Yes, I do," he finally said, and his own tears began to fall. "Because I did the exact same thing."

The two sat in silence, no loner touching, no longer laughing, remembering the dark and lonely nights without each other, literally universes apart. How broken their hearts were.

"You know," Rose said after a while. "I married that double of you. We have a son. He'll turn five in a week." She broke into a huge grin. "We named him John after that infuriatingly generic name you used to go by. We have a huge surprise party planned for him back home."

The Doctor visibly flinched. "You used to call the T.A.R.D.I.S. home."

Her smile fell away once more. "She is my home. She always will be. But I've got a life. I've settled down. And..." She stood, brushing herself off. "...so do you. Amy and Rory need you. It's time for me to leave."

She began to walk towards the door. The Doctor, full of panic, sprang up and grabbed her arm. "Rose...I-I can't..."

"Doctor..." Her eyes were so full of sadness, of pain and grief and loss as she gazed at him. "Let me go."

"No!" His tears began to fall faster. "I've lost too many people in my lifetimes! I've lost you too many times! I couldn't bear to lose you again!" He closed his eyes, taking a shuddering breath. "It would break my hearts."

"I know." She wiped away his tears. "Oh Doctor, I know. But there's a time for everything, and it's time to say good-bye."

"I can't." He held her other hand. "I'm not ready."

Rose smiled. "No one ever is."

She tore herself from the Doctor's grip and ran for the T.A.R.D.I.S. doors. Light, blindingly golden light, began to spill out from underneath, and he just stood there, calling Rose Tyler's name as she threw open the doors. The light spilled into his precious machine, and Rose's form was lost in its splendor. The floor seemed to fall out from under him, and then he was falling, free-falling away from the light into the deep, black abyss below, her name on his lips and her voice echoing in his mind.

"Good-bye..."