"Em, we'll figure all of that out." I protested.
"How? How are we gonna figure it out? Because it's going to throw all of us into this situation where none of us know how to deal with it. Lucy is turning ten. She's gonna be in secondary in a year. And Noah-"
I rushed forward, taking her hands in mine again,
"Noah and Lucy will be fine." I said, laughing softly, "Emily," I lifted my hand to push her hair behind her ear, "Baby this can only mean good things for this family. One more child that gets to benefit from having you as their mother? I can't think of a better gift to give." When my compliments weren't working and she was still looking at me with trepidation and fear, my smile faded, "What?"
She waited to speak,
"Look, don't take this the wrong way, because I am fine with your schedule. I know what our life together entails and that includes me holding down the fort here so you can go and do what you do...but when you're not here..." She let her sentence trail off, "They're a lot." She finished in a whisper.
I knew they were a lot. And I knew that some days they were more than she could handle. But because of my schedule, I knew I could never fully understand what she dealt with when I was gone.
I put my hands to her face,
"Hey...let's just sit with this. We're just talking. Not making any decisions right now ok?" When she shot me a knowing glance, I smiled, "I'm ok with that."
She shook her head,
"You were so excited last night-"
"I was." I interrupted, "But I also know this is a big decision that both of us need to make. So no decisions for right now. We'll continue to talk it out until we make a decision one way or the other."
She lifted her hands to my chest,
"Ok." She answered softly.
------------------------------
Life returned to normal for all intents and purposes after that. Em and I split kid duty during the day and then at night we took time for each other. The last few nights we'd taken to watching the X-Factor together and making bets about who would make it through to which round. The last bet resulted in me having to paint her toenails.
Bets like those were always a win-win as far as I was concerned. Pampering the love of my life was never a loss.
Em was looking down at me while I finished up the last of her toes. She raised her eyebrows,
"I would've never guessed that color choice."
I reached out to wipe off a bit from her middle toe where I'd messed up,
"There is nothing wrong with the color green." I commented.
She nodded,
"There isn't. But I figured you'd choose pink or something summery."
"I like to be different." I stated simply as I dipped the brush back into the bottle.
While things had gone back to normal in our household, Kesse was never far from my mind. Emily and I hadn't discussed it again since that morning in the kitchen.
I wanted to bring up the subject again, I just didn't know how and I didn't want her to think I was pressuring her. So more often than not, I ended up not saying anything at all.
She giggled when I intentionally tickled her foot,
"Hey there...keep your ticklers under control Mister."
Part Two
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