Fiscal Cliff (a play)

(Mindi thinks she has heard enough and dashes off stage. The lights dim.)

Scene 3

(Mindi rushes on stage to the rest of the employees who are still where they were in scene one.)

Mindi: Guys, like, I totally just heard some juicy gossip.

Herbert: (Raises head) Did you get lost on the way to the bathroom again?

Mindi: That only happens when I’m not paying atten-Hey what’s that? Is that the ceiling fixture?

Shirley: (Sighs) All right what pointless information do you have to tell us this time?

Mindi: Well, I overheard the boss saying: (Cliff takes over from backstage speaking as her.)

Cliff: Hello, Chairman Hanger speaking. Oh, yes, I know about the budget cuts. I just hope that no one has to get hurt because of it.

Edward: (Stops humming) Wait, what?

Cliff: (Still backstage) Yes, I know of the consequences. Unfortunately, I think it is about time to let go. Only of just one person, though. Yes, things are changing around here, but hopefully I won’t lose everyone. This is going to be a difficult transition.

Shirley: (Stands up and moves closer to her.) What are you talking about, and how are you able to do that with your vo- Never mind, That can’t be right, but then again, judging by how little your brain can figure in a short amount of time, it is very unlikely that you could have made up something like that. So, you aren’t lying, that is for certain. What amazes me is that you were able to remember all of that. But, I guess since you have nothing else to recall except sequence of nail polish colors, it is to be expected.

Mindi: Speaking of nail polish-

Edward: (interrupting) Thank you, Sherlock.

Shirley: (Considering it for a moment.) Sherlock, hmm…I like that. Quick, get a deer stalker and a pipe. I am liking where this is going. Call me, Sherlock from now on! I shall get to the bottom of this. We shall know the truth. Hmm…Where to begin?

Mindi: Who’s Sherlock?

Shirley: How can you say that? What is…What is…Wrong with…How can you say… (Faints to the ground.)

(There is silence for three seconds. Herbert abruptly looks up.)

Herbert: I’ll catch her! (Pause, falls back to sleep)

(Cliff comes in.)

Cliff: Wait, what happened to her? Did someone mention Sherlock? (He considers for a moment before he clears his throat). HEY LOOK IT’S GANDALF AND LEGOLAS!

Shirley: WHAT? WHERE! (She sits up abruptly and her eyes are wide. The pipe is still awkwardly hanging out of her mouth.)

Cliff: Oh good you’re awake. Now, what did I say about smoking. (He takes the pipe out of her mouth and suspiciously stores it away in his jacket.)

Shirley: BUT, I’M SHERLOCK…..

Edward: And I’m Lance Armstrong… Or something 

Scene 4

(Everyone is in the break room, only now the tables are shifted slightly to be facing each other.)