words of the moment - phan

i

re·jec·tionrəˈjekSH(ə)nnounthe dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc."the union decided last night to recommend rejection of the offer"synonyms:refusal, declining, turning down, dismissal, spurning the spurning of a person's affections."some people are reluctant to try it, because they fear rejection"

dans pov

I was nervous. Scared. After all the times we discussed meeting, you would think I would be excited. Don't get me wrong, I am, but that's not what I had in mind. 

"phil, what if you don't like me. you know. when we meet."

"how would I ever dislike you, dan?"

Phil's comments helped. a bit. I told myself it wouldn't be any different than skyping for 5 hours and having conversations that would never last. When i stepped onto the train, ready for 3 hours trapped in my thoughts, I was thinking otherwise.

This is real. I'm meeting my best friend.

It wasn't that I didn't want to meet Phil, after all, it was my idea in the first place. But i'm a living, breathing, thing with emotions. Emotions that always got the best of me at my worst moments. 

phil: i'm at the station and its really cold because i forgot a jacket so hurry up! xD

dan: you idiot. im almost there.

I slowly inhaled as I put my phone away. Rejection. That's what I was afraid of. But I wouldn't want to admit it. What if Phil decides he doesn't like me anymore? That's stupid. Phil is the nicest person you know. It's okay.

It's okay.  He's your best friend. It'll be fine. Those 9 words start running through my head as soon as the train stops. My palms start sweating as I stand up and exit onto the train station.

dan: im here. where are you?

phil: turn around :)

Phil. I met his gaze. He was looking at me in a way. There was something behind those blue eyes. He doesn't like me, does he? Oh god, I shouldn't have came.

I was attacked by a warm embrace, interrupting my thoughts. i shut my eyes and squeeze back tightly. Phil didn't let go. I never wan't him to.

re·liefrəˈlēf/noun1.a feeling of reassurance and relaxation following release from anxiety or distress."much to her relief, she saw the door open"synonoms:reassurance, consolation, comfort, solace"it was such a relief to share my worries"

My thoughts were tearing me up inside. But that whole time, they were wrong. Phil would never reject me. He would never reject anyone.

Relief. That's what my thoughts decided to call it. That's what i felt. And i have realized that the things we love the most are what cause us the most pain. It's hard to accept of course, but it's true.

Phil's like the sun.He's so bright and what keeps me together. But pain comes from the bright rays of light that burn my skin as well as my thoughts. And i'm the moon, providing light when the sun can't. They work together. 

"Do you believe me now?" "you're the best thing that has ever happened to me, dan."

And in a second, I did.

hello this is a new phan story! well i guess its not really a story, just little au's during every chapter, you will figure it out. I hope you enjoyed yay!

-addie