one direction preferences

he speaks at your funeral

Harry: He shuffles the small stack of papers in his hands over and over--not like he needed them, though. They just kept him from crying. If he kept shuffling the papers over and over he'd be distracted. Distraction. He needed a lot of it these days, and the boys had done a pretty good job of it so far. At least, on the outside. On the inside you were all that clouded his thoughts and haunted his dreams. He blamed himself, he kept blaming himself and he'd never be able to stop. If only he'd been on time if only..."Harry, it's time for you speech," Liam says softly, meeting Harry's gaze with sad eyes. Harry gives a solemn nod as he makes his way to the podium just a foot from the casket, he shuffles the papers in his hands for a few moments before setting them down and not offering them more than a glance. "(Y/N)," he begins, his voice shaky. He wills himself not to cry, but it's futile. "She was the best thing I ever had," he continues, tears blurring his vision and sobs muffling his voice. "She was such an amazing person, you know? She'd be a shoulder to cry on and she was so funny, God, she had the nicest laugh and," he pauses to clear his throat and wipe tears from his cheeks with the back of his palm. "And some jerk had to just take it all away. I keep thinking that maybe if I'd gotten to pick her up from work on time that she wouldn't have been where she was. Or maybe if I'd..." he trails off and rests his head on the edge of the podium, trying to stop the tears and trying to catch his breath. "It's okay, sweetheart, nobody blames you," your mother assures him, placing her hand on his back. He shakes his head and wraps her in a hug, the two of them crying over someone who never really got the chance to live a long enough life. Crying for the memories of the past and the memories that could've been.

Louis: "Lou, you don't have to do this," Zayn says softly, placing his hand on Louis' shoulder. "No, I have to, she'd want me to," Louis says softly, focusing his gaze on his shoes. He straightens the neckline of his black suit, making sure it's perfect. He wants to look perfect, just for you. Even though you won't see him now he's sure you're looking down on this moment and he wants to look his very best. He steps forward to the podium, pausing in front of your casket and placing his hand on your cold cheek. He brushes away a tear with his sleeve and takes the microphone in his palm, his eyes swollen and red from crying. "Normally whenever I'd have a microphone in my hand it'd be to sing," he smiles sadly and nods towards his bandmates sitting a few rows back all donning their best black attire. "But today I don't want to sing, I can't sing anymore." He clears his throat and bites his lip before continuing. "(Y/N)...she meant a lot to me, she really did. She kept me going in my toughest days and she was always there cheering me on and making me the best I could be. She was the reason behind the emotion in every song and every note. She was the reason for the sparkle behind my eyes, the crinkles when I'd smile, the reason for my laughter and..." he pauses to regain composure as tears fall faster down his cheeks. "She was my song. And the song has ended way too soon, it's not fair. She was beautiful--she is beautiful. But she's gone. My song, my music...my everything it's all gone and I'll never be able to sing again," he slowly shakes his head. "I love you, (Y/N). Always have and always will," he says finally, walking away from the podium and quickly leaving the room before breaking down full-on.

Niall: "I just want to start by saying that none of this is fair," he says through tears, an angry and mournful tone to his voice. "It's not fair she got taken away from me--from all of us---from the world so soon." He bites his lip and looks at the ceiling for a moment before going on. "I can't even put into words how hard this is for me. I know I'm young, she was young--we were both young but we had this kind of bond that I've never had before. She was my soul mate, I just felt it. I loved her more than anything, I wish she was here, I wish..." he starts to cry, leaning away from the microphone and wiping his tears with his thumb. "We were going t'get married some day and buy a big house and..." he clears his through but his voice wavers. "And have a family and a dog and, she didn't deserve to die. She didn't deserve it at all." He looks out into the sea of faces of family and friends and loses it, breaking down into tears and mumbling an apology into the microphone before leaving through the back into the cold fresh air.

Zayn: "Two days ago I lost my world...my everything," Zayn begins softly, his eyes taking in the crowd of faces below. All he can see is your face, though, and when he remembers he'll never see your face again his hear breaks. "(Y/N)...she was...I mean...she..." he starts tripping over words, his thoughts clouded and gray. A tear slips down his cheek and he wipes it away quickly. "Sorry, I never cry...I should be being strong, right?" he gives a sad laugh and wipes away the tears as they keep sliding down his cheeks. "I have to be strong...I..." he shakes his head and stops wiping away the tears. "I can't be strong, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, (Y/N). I loved you so much, I wish you didn't have to go. I hope I'll see you again someday, though. Even if you're not here you'll always be in my heart and my mind," he says softly, looking up towards the sky. "Always."

Liam: He slowly stands from his seat and walks up to the podium, his dark brown eyes are filled with such a sadness and such grief that no one this young should ever have to bear. His eyes are tired and raw from crying. His hands are shaking as he grips onto the edge of the podium, as if he let go he'd lose his balance. Which might be true--he hasn't eaten in two days since he got the news. He just can't bear to do much of anything since you'd been gone. "Hi everyone," he says softly, his eyes scanning the crowd. He looks for you for a moment but then he remembers and he's hit with another wave of sadness. "I can go on forever on the reasons I love her and everything amazing about her, I really could," he admits, slowly shaking his head. "But if I did that I'd just be remembering more of what I'll be missing and I can already remember it without saying...does that make sense?" he shrugs and grips the podium tighter, he can't do this. He can't do this. "I haven't been coping too well if I'm being honest. It's kind of hard to cope when your world is torn away from you and you haven't even gotten to say good-bye," he continues, tears forming on the corners of his eyes. "The last thing she said to me...the last thing," he begins, his hands shaking faster as he goes to continue. "Sorry, I can't," he says quickly, storming away from the microphone and outside before the tears fall faster and he crumbles to the ground.