Thoughts

Chapter 1

WARNINGS FOR : DOMESTIC ABUSE MENTIONS, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Hello everyone, this story as a whole is dedicated to _iAmTHeBaDWoLF_ , who requested, 

due to personal events, that I draw attention to suicide and prevention methods in one of my stories.  I am incredibly honored that this was brought to me and I ask that all comments on this story be respectful.  I do not have a cover up for the story as of now but one might be added later.  I anticipate this story being about two or thee chapters.  All that being said, read mindfully and please enjoy.

Rose sat, running her thumbs over each other as her fingers lay laced in her lap.  She had been sitting on the jump seat for about twenty minutes as the Doctor piloted them away from the planet they had just left.  It had been an ordeal to say the least, and Rose had to think a lot about fighting her own mind.

The Doctor noticed, of course, as he was dreadfully attuned to Rose's feelings.  He watched her with his brows furrowed, feeling a little bit awkward. He was never good with women at all, but Rose was different, and he wanted to be able to comfort her in any way possible.

She felt more than heard him approach, the air around her shifting until she looked up into a set of worried dark eyes.  She forced a smile but couldn't get it all the way up so she just dropped her gaze to her hands.

"Rose?" The Doctor got onto his knees before the jump seat, wanting to be eye level with her but not knowing if she would want him on the seat next to her.  "I think we should talk about what happened, back on Galthly, we didn't... We were separated."

She shook her head. She didn't want to tell him what happened, and how what happened made her feel.  Words were more than just words, she knew that better than anyone.  She raised her gaze to him again and said softly, "No."

The Doctor looked shocked, and why shouldn't he?  She had always been open with him, to some extent, and with her refusal he was more worried than ever.  Her body language clearly said that she did not wish to be touched.  Her shoulders were raised in a defensive sort of way that made his hearts ache painfully.   He watched her as she leveled a dead stare at him.  Her eyes were glazed and looked nothing like her eyes at all, much like someone had put pieces of Rose onto paper but had not captured her in the least.  

"Okay," he agreed, "We don't have to... Not right now, at least, but I think at some point we should address it.  you're making me very worried."

She lifted a shoulder at him, like it didn't matter, and looked pointedly at him.  She needed him to stand before she went anywhere, and what she wanted right now was to go to her room and sleep for a year.  He pursed his lips, clearly trying to think of something to say but not knowing how to voice it.

"Come to me if you need anything, Rose, alright?  Day or night, if you need to talk, the TARDIS will help you find me no matter where I am."  His words were earnest, his eyes searching hers.  "Okay?"

"Okay," She replied, nodding a little.  "Can I-" She bit her lip and looked down again.  Tears welled in her eyes.  She didn't deserve what she had been about to ask for.

"What, Rose?" he asked softly, coaxing.  He always did have a way with words, even in his last body, even if he didn't think he did.  His compassion was almost palpable, and she knew she did not deserve it even a little bit.

"Can I have a hug?" She asked softly, afraid to voice it at all.  After what those guards had did to her, the last thing she deserved was affection from the Doctor, the most powerful man to ever inhabit time and space.