This was inspired by 99 Days Without You! I switched around the characters and changed it. I was like crying when I was writing this. :'(
Here you go! Hope you like it!
- Reena :)
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Dear Harry,
Okay I know you are probably bawling out your eyes but please stop crying and read this. I need to say something, but I don't know how to... the truth is I love you. Okay, there I said it. I have loved you since I saw you at bootcamp. I killed myself because I just couldn't stand to see you love Caroline, and spending time with her. Now don't you dare go blaming yourself for this.
Harry Edward Styles, this is not your fault. It is completly mine and I hope you're not crying. Let me start, I have loved you since X-Factor, I don't know what it was about you, why it made me love you but you're are just amazing.
I love the way you smile and how you're always there for me. I love that whenever I'm sad, you know that I'm sad and you make me smile. I love the nicknames you gave to me, like Lou and Boobear. I love that how cheeky we are with each other and I love that you are just YOU.
I never confessed to you this because I knew how much you loved Caroline, and do you know how hard it is to see someone you love, love someone else? The way you would bring her over when it was suppose to be OUR bonding time. And sometimes how she would start to kiss you right infront of me. It broke me, and I didn't know what to do. I always wanted to tell you I loved you but I never had the words to say.
Right now, as you're reading this Harry I am looking down at you and thinking of how much I miss you. Please, don't beat yourself up about this. Continue One Direction, you, Niall, Liam and Zayn can do this without me. I hope you guys go far, and soon when your time has come Harry you will join me up here but that better be in a while. Harry, I always tried to tell you I loved you but it was to hard, I wanted us to be together. And the night you came back talking about how you are dating Caroline, that was the night I was going to tell you I loved you.
You are probably looking at your laptop screen in tears but let me tell you, that even though you never had the same feelings as I did for you, you are still one of the most amazing mates I could ever have. Along with the other boys, tell them I don't want them to quit singing. And you too Harry, your voice is precious. It's another reason I love you and I have a song I had recorded just for you, "Look After You" by The Fray. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVjxRbN-JVs I hope you enjoy it, I spent months perfecting it for you and I wanted to sing it to you in person, but I never had the guts.
I am here typing this on your laptop while you are on your date with Caroline. Don't you break up with here Harry, I don't want you to think that me dying is your fault or her fault. You and Caroline and perfect for each other and I want you to be with her even though I love you. I hope you guys enjoy each other.
I guess since this is the last time you will be able to see something I said, I guess I could tell you about my self-harming. Okay Harry, here I go. I started self-harming after you and Caroline starting dating. It was hard for me to see you with her, so cutting myself took away the pain. Than we started to separte and talk less and less each day , and I thought you hated me. I was insecure about myself, I always think I will never be good enough for you.
I remember that time in the club when we both were drunk and we kissed. That was the most amazing moment in my life, I remember because I was pretending to be drunk. But the next morning I told you about it and you were disgusted and wanted us to forget about it. It really hurt me that you were disgusted. Thats another reason I never told you my feelings for you, because I was scared of your reaction.
One last thing, Harry Styles, I want you to continue your life. Don't let my passing break you down. Do something amazing, and always remember I am looking down at you and smiling of how proud I am. I'm glad you at least know I love you, and I always will. Well, see you soon up here with me. I will wait, and we will soon be together. But, don't forget I love you.
I have the gun in the left hand and its pointed at my forehead and I am going to do this, I will leave this letter left on your computer screen so when you come home you can see this. Tears are rolling down my face and I am trembling. Harry, my heart is beating fast as hell. I will count down. Harry, wait let me repeat this again, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Don't beat yourself up for this, keep on going with your life. I love you. I love you. Okay, I'm ready now three, two, bye.
