eight years later; nouis

four.

"Louis, I think you've had a bit too much to be making a call like that," Niall said through barred teeth, not meaning a word of what he said. It was the right thing to say, though, no matter how badly he actually wanted to kiss Louis. 

"I've not, Niall! I'm not even drunk." and Niall rolled his eyes and pushed Louis off, walking to the guest bedroom and shutting the door. He knew this game, Louis would get smashed and then come seeking a partner with which to make himself feel special for one night, always when he was going through a rutt. Niall knows because Niall's seen it. Knows Louis better than he knows himself, he supposes, and knows that Louis doesn't mean to hurt anyone, just gets a bit out of his mind sometimes, and thinks physical love will solve his issues for a few hours. It was never physical when he sought out Niall, though. It was sad, and pitiful, and needing a cuddle, someone to hold, and Niall was always willing to hold Louis while he cried, feeling sorry for himself, or just silently laid there.

And that's how Niall got to that point before the band split up all those years ago: hopelessly in love with Louis Tomlinson and desperately hoping he'd love him back. No one knew, never told a soul, but sometimes Niall thought Louis knew, and fancied him too. But no, it wasn't like that, and Niall had to tell himself that again and again. His sad one night stands were always chicks, Niall remembered, and that's how he ended up with little Freddie. There was an inkling in his mind coming from his twenty-two year old self that maybe Louis did want this. But that's why he pushed him away, he knew that wasn't it. 

He hadn't thought of Louis in that way for years. He'd gotten married, had a kid, things were different now. He attributed it to too much time alone with Louis, and just a fondness that had been acquired by knowing each other too well, or maybe out of pity because Louis could be so broken at times, and Niall just wanted to see him happy. He'd never been attracted to another boy before or after Louis, and moved on shortly after the band broke up. 

-----

The next morning Louis was ecstatic to see Niall still sitting at his kitchen table, sipping a coffee and staring out at the bay. 

"Sorry about last night, pal." Niall didn't look at Louis, just kept staring out the window.

"Did you know? Back then? Or did you recently figure it out?

"I never knew.." Louis said stepping sheepishly closer to Niall. "I was sat thinking of you recently and thought I'd see if that's how it was. I figured that's why you were always so.." He didn't finish his sentence, but Niall knew what he was thinking. He was always "so..." when it came to Louis. 

Niall had come to the conclusion last night after staring at the ceiling long enough that Louis was trying to test Niall, maybe even try to get him to do something that he had always wanted, to see if that desire was still there, maybe Louis wanted it too. He didn't know, just finally realized that Louis knew about how Niall used to feel about him.

"I don't feel that way anymore, Lou. That was a long, long, long time ago." he whispered but when Niall finally mustered up the courage to look Louis in the face, he saw it fall.

"Right, well, couldn't expect you to wait around 15 years could I?" Louis laughed and Niall chuckled too, but he felt a drop in his stomach. Maybe that's why he had come here to find Louis; maybe it wasn't to save him at all, but because he still loved him. 

"You know I would have, if you'd have shown an interest..was mad about you wasn't I?" Niall whispered, and Louis just nodded his head, only slightly, and sat down next to Niall filling both of their coffee cups. 

They enjoyed the rest of the morning talking and laughing and reminiscing about their favourite moments of One Direction, really having a good time, and Niall's heart warmed as he saw Louis smile a real smile, laugh a real laugh. When Louis dumped his bottles of liquor down the sink that night, Niall felt excited. Liquor was Louis' poison--always made him depressed, and Niall thought that maybe Louis had found his joy already.