The Five Idiots (Jyugo x OC Nanbaka Fanfic)

Ch. 6 New Guard

Rock and Jyugo decided to do a little fist fight. They were pushing each other to see who would fall first.

"Even though you've gotten rusty from prison life, you're still strong as ever!" Jyugo said.

"No kidding! But don't get cocky just because you won at thumb wrestling!" Rock replied, "I'm way stronger than you!"

Suddenly, the cell door swung open and a guy withlong black hair with a Nanba prison guard uniform came in. He yelled, "Stop gentlemen! There's absolutely no brawling allowed in this penitentiary!"

We were very confused and asked him, "Who are you?"

"Me? I am here today acting as supervisor instead of Suguroku," he introduced himself, "My name is Yamato Godai!"

"Where's Hajime?"

"He is sick today, so he's resting."

"Dammit Seitarou," I thought in my head, "You told me he was sickbut never told me about the new guy. Damn you pretty boy."

"No wonder it's quiet," Jyugo spoke.

"It's no fun without his reactions," Uno complained.

"Anyway, stop fighting!" Yamato ordered.

"We weren't fighting,we were just testing our strength," Rock explained.

"Unbelievable!" he exclaimed, "Upon closer inspection, I see that you are those infamous troublemakers!"

"You didn't come here knowing that?"

"Yep, this guy is annoying."

"What a party pooper."

"You just made my job a lot easier!" Yamato said pumped up, "I will be happy to beat some sense into you gentlemen in the supervisor's absence!"

He grabbed us by the shirts with brute strength. For some idiot, he really is strong. He dragged us out of our cell and continued, "As proper Japanese men, you should always work hard! Instead of escaping, you should repent for you crimes and then walk out with your heads held high! I want you gentlemen to lead happy, bright, and honest lives! Let's all go greet the Japanese dawn!"

"But I'm British!" Uno complained.

"But it's the afternoon!" I whined.

"Ow, stop dragging me too hard," Jyugo pouted.

He took us out to the prison yard and made us do a crap ton of push-ups and other hard workouts we can't do. Nico passed out on the first warm up. Did I say first? Yeah, the first... out of fifty. Hajime better get soon, we're all dying out here.

~Timeskip brought to you by Laughing Yamato~

3rd POV

It wasn't long before Hajime returned. The first thing that came up was Seitarou grabbing onto him like a puppy and pleaded, "Please sir save me!"

"It,s still early in the morning, Seitarou," Hajime sighed, "And I'm not fully recovered from my fever, you know."

"I'm sorry, but it's been horrible with you gone! Cell 13's daily escape attempts have escalated due to their hatred of the deputy supervisor's training. They run about, break things, and take their anger out in me! Especially No. 9! It's really scary to see a girl angry! Now I know what it's like for you to face the Warden! It's total chaos! And your deputy says they're full of energy and just laughs it off!"

"Putting aside the Yamato issue, you're a Building 13 guard on your own right. Have more confidence. Lay down the law," Hajime advised.

"Easier said than done, they never listen to anything I say..."

"Then beat them up until they do."

"Law of the Fist?!" he gasped, "But you're the only one who could do that! I don't like fighting! When I do my rounds, they scowl horribly and start throwing stuff from their room at me saying, 'Go die pretty boy!'"

"They're toying with him..." Hajime thought. He got a little worried about Seitarou's case and said, "Alright then, I guess I'll have to teach you how to handle them. You'll probably be in charge of this building some day."

"R-Really?! Please teach me!"

"First, if you do the following, their activity level will be dropped by 50%. Let's start with No. 11."

"The one that talks a lot, yes."

"He really loves women, so anything related to them will grab his attention. So hand him a survey snipped from a women's magazine or something."

"Just a survey?!"

"Next, No. 69."

"That scary looking guy..." Seitarou whimpered.

"His love of fighting is a problem, but that's nothing compared to his enormous appetite. So, just hand him the menu for today, and he'll sit quietly for a while."

"Is he in grade school?!"

"Next is No. 25 and No. 9."

"They're relatively good kids, right?"

"Yeah, they listen well and they're the easiest to handle. For No. 9, Give her some music and earbuds. She'll probably sleep while listening to it. For No. 25, just put on some anime. Throw in some snacks and he won't move an inch."

"Some kindergartens now?!"

"Finally, we have No. 15."

"The number one troublemaker."

"His hobby and only special skill is jailbreaking. He will, without a doubt, escape."

"So there's nothing I can do?!"

"But in his case, if the other four aren't enthused about escaping, he'll lose 40% of his motivation. Then he'll be easy to catch even if he does try anything. Just take care of the other four first, and humor him afterwards."

"My job sounds more like a daycare provider than a prison guard," Seitarou thought.

A couple days later, Seitarou went up to Hajime and said, "Thanks to your methods, I'm beginning to figure them out! They told me to bring surveys from the latest women's magazines, menus for today and tomorrow, various snacks, an anime magazine, and J-pop music recommendations, so I'm taking over them right now. They stopped bullying me thank to you. Oh! I better hurry! I promised to catch No. 15 in the courtyard."

"They made him their errand boy now," Hajime sweatdropped.