Oblivion (A Stiles Stilinski/Teen Wolf Fanfiction) [3]

Chapter 9 - Boxing Match

 Suddenly, I didn't have the urge to cry anymore. That doesn't mean I'm not still sad about what happened to Heather, because it's eating me up inside, it's just that I don't need to. I don't need to cry for people to know that I'm in pain.

 If there's anything else I'm taking away from losing one of my friends so young, it's that life is short. Though, I really should know that by now. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. People you once thought would be there forever could be gone by tomorrow. Even people you never really thought you'd miss, like Erica. It all changes that fast.

 I know I don't want to for the sake of my pride, but I think it's time that I forgive Derek. He made a mistake, and the methods he used to try and fix it weren't exactly practical. Yet, much like Eric and much like Isaac, I know that he's trying. He's trying to be a better alpha and a better man, and I respect that. He didn't know what would happen when he killed Peter, and yes Eric warned him, and yes maybe he made the wrong decision. That doesn't mean he'd make the same mistake again. Whether I like it or not, it's time.

 "Emma," started Dad, a crease forming in his brow. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

 I looked away in guilt. Stiles and I had spent all night in the hospital, waiting for news about the other girl in the woods. I tried sleeping when we sat in the waiting room chairs, but something other than the Adderall I stole from my boyfriend was keeping me awake.

 "How many hours of sleep have you been getting?"

 Do I tell him the truth, that I haven't slept in nearly seventy-two hours? I don't want him to worry about me. I couldn't bring myself to say anything, so instead I just looked up at him with a plea in my eyes.

 He sighed knowingly. "When was the last time you slept?"

 "Three nights ago,"

 "Emma,"

 "I'm afraid to, okay?" I finally admitted. It was strange to hear it out loud, considering I could barely say it to myself. "I feel like every time I close my eyes something bad is going to happen. I feel vulnerable,"

 My anxiety was never even this bad when Jackson was running around as the kanima killing just about everyone in his path or even when I thought The Alpha was out to get me. I think it's because I'm not entirely sure what we're up against, and it scares the hell out of me. I'm supposed to be the one who always knows, the one with all the answers. Now I'm left with three deaths and no explanation.

 "No one is going to hurt you, not here," said Dad, running his hand along my disheveled hair. A smirk danced across his face. "I have a gun, remember?"

 I let out a small laugh. I know that I shouldn't worry as much as I do, but after everything that's happened to me, I can't really help it. Even being alone terrifies me anymore. What do I do when there's no one around to hear me scream?

 "You need to go to bed," said Dad. "Okay?"

 I nodded, forcing a smile. "I love you," I said.

 His face softened. "I love you too,"

 It was an exchange that we haven't done in a long time. I can't even remember the last time I told Dad I loved him. With everything happening so fast, I want to make sure he knows, just in case anything were to happen. I want him to know that I love him for being there for me all this time. I would never have made it through Mom and Zoe's deaths without him.

 He leaned in and kissed the top of my head. "Now, get some sleep," 

 "Let me help you clean up first," I said.