Blurryface | Shefani

The Judge • 7

He tensed up at her name. All the memories of her gorgeous blonde hair, silky skin, and beautiful smile came back to him. He suddenly felt the need to cry.

"Aw, sweetie." Dorothy, his mother, said. "What happened. I thought it was going well."

"I thought it was, too." Blake sighed. "But then she just pushed me away, like nothing ever happened."

"You said she suffers with depression, right?" her mother asked.

"Yeah, probably some other stuff, too." Blake answered.

His mom caressed his hair. "Then I'd give her some time, darlin'. She may be going through a lot right now."

Blake sighed again. He didn't know what to do anymore.
••
It was Sunday, which she liked to call her suicide day.

When Blurryface came, Sundays became dreadful.

Gwen used to love Sundays. She would go to church with her family, and then have a nice lunch with them. It was a peaceful day, like God intended it to be.

But, then Blurryface made their way into her mind, and now she hates Sundays. Blurryface hated church, religion in general, so eventually, Gwen began to hate it to.

Every Sunday, she is dragged to the church her family has belonged to for generations. For an hour, she is forced to reflect, something Blurryface loves.

Don't listen to the priest, listen to me, Blurryface would say when she tried to focus on the mass.

You're a failure, you know that? You're an awful human being with no chance of success in this world. If there even is a heaven or hell, you'll probably end up in hell. Unless you listen to me. I'm trying to save you, Gwen. Now, let's go over everything you did wrong in the past week. Blurryface would say, and she would be forced to listen.

The girl wore a simple white top with a black skirt and converse, not really caring about her appearance at this point. Her family had still not found out that she hadn't been to school in over a week. They also still hadn't found out about her self harm, or Blurryface, or anything at all.

Guilty, Gwen thought as the family drove to the church. That's what I am.

She had been so depressed, she didn't react to when Todd was a jerk to her, or when her parents would scream at her to eat something. She didn't care anymore, she didn't have the heart to.

They pulled up to the church parking lot, and memories of the carnival began flashing in her brain. Blake began to flash in her head.

His smile, eyes, hair, and amazing personality. She missed it. She cried to hear it again.

No, Blurryface said, and all the memories of the boy who tore her heart went away.

She walked out of the car, being pelted with raindrops that perfectly hid her tears.

"Oh, what a waste of a beautiful day!" her mother exclaimed when she felt the rain. It was sunny, but somehow the rain was still pouring.

"Welcome to my life." Gwen muttered as the family made their way to the pews inside the church.

The organ started to play, and everyone automatically stood up for the beginning of the ceremony. It was like everyone was controlled with a button. They sang at the same time, stood at the same time, and sat at the same time.

The priest said began the mass in a happy tone, showing his excitement about how everyone had come together to show their love for God. Gwen just rolled her eyes.

After the gospel, the priest changed the mass up a bit. "I was thinking, instead of a homily, I would be quiet today. I'm not going to stand up here for fifteen minutes and shout my viewings on the gospel. Instead, I think we need quiet time. To think about God and how he's in our life. I'd like you to think about this. Do you really believe in God?" and then, the priest went silent, letting the audience think.

Do I? This question sidetracked her from whatever Blurryface was telling her. She used to believe in God, one hundred percent. But ever since her problems started evolving, it's made her doubtful of everything. So, she tried something she knew Blurryface would hate.

Hi, God. Gwen started talking to him in her mind. She could feel Blurryface trying to stop her, but somehow, they couldn't. It's me, Gwen. I know I haven't talked to you in forever, and I'm going to guess you know why, but I want to know if I believe in you or not.

I know I may sound silly. Like, why am I telling you this? Well, I'm hoping if I talked things out with someone other than Blurryface, things may be a little more clearer.

The thing is, I need help. I don't know if you're The Judge, or no, but I need to be set free.

So, are you The Judge, or no? And, I know my soul is freezing, hell's hot for good reason, but please...help me.

I felt happiness. I felt my heart and my soul feel alive again. I want that back. Maybe you can help? I don't want to see the world in darkness anymore. I want to wake up to blue skies, the color of Blake's eyes.

Oh, Blake. God, what have I done? I let my doubt take over me, and now he probably never wants me to speak to him again. But I think I love him, is that naive?

I don't know if this is a surrender or a rebel against you, but I'm just asking for help.

Then, the priest stood up, followed by everyone else. Everyone harmonized beautifully to a song, and Gwen felt a little more clear.

I need to speak to Blake, the girl said to herself. And, she wasn't going to let her mind screw it up for her.

|-/

I am not trying to push religious beliefs on anyone, so before you become extremely triggered, chill. Take a listen to the song, and you'll understand this chapter.

Thanks to everyone who continues to read this story. Your comments and votes are the only reason I continue to update, so please keep it up!!

Stay alive.