Entitled

Recollections

WARNING: Mentions of suicide attempts, gore, cannibalism, descriptions of violence

This chapter is literally just flashback city, y'all.

Oh, and there's a couple phrases of Welsh mixed in; you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it. Here are their translations:

Mam = Mom

Nac oes = No

Rwy'n dy garu di = I love you (I adore the Welsh language lmao)

------

He felt like he was being pulled upstream in pitch darkness; he could hear the blood rushing in his ears, the heavy pressure being pulled through his body. It was starting to become unbearable and he was growing irritated that he could not move any part of his body, nor hear or feel a thing.

'Perhaps this is what death feels like and becomes?' Ethan pondered; his thoughts were clear, he would have random memories assault him occasionally, but it didn't hurt too much, not if they were memories of him doing non-violent activities, but he did remember the agony of his former life, his actual mortal life; he struggled day by day, thieving or killing for food; he had no one to fall on if things became worse.

He remembered the day leading up to his change of being a vampire. He remembered the last fight he had as a human, how his lungs had nearly been punctured by his splintering ribs after being in a full out brawl against another man. His opponent had been skinny at himself, sick with hunger, eyes filled with the need to survive, but Ethan managed to kill the man; he died choking on his blood, Ethan remembered crouching over him, he watched the man's eyes roll up into his head and grow still.

He remembered sinking his teeth into the dead man's arm and feasting upon the little muscle mass the man possessed, as he was mostly skin and bone as well. The memory of the agony of his ribs that tore through him with every gasping breath he took as he ravenously devoured the stringy meat, nearly made Ethan go insane; he didn't want to feel this any longer.

Ethan remembering what he had been before was horrifying, as he looked nothing like his current self; he was more of an animal than human, killing and cannibalizing others to just survive the next day, living in small caves to escape the brutal weather; he didn't want this life.

He stood at a cliff, the ocean below sprayed onto him with every crash against the cliff side, he remembered the cold touching his bare skin, the only thing he was clad in was poorly made deer hide shorts. It had been sundown when he made this decision to jump; he hadn't known what suicide was, as there hadn't been a word for it yet, but he had witnessed others jumping and their bodies being found on shore a day or so later.

He had fallen, the freezing water slashed against his body, his bones shattering at the force of impact, his lungs filled with freezing water, he was being dragged down below the surface, but he still lived; he did not feel most of the agony, as the frigid water numbed his body.

The rough sand had pulled him from his blank mind; he felt the sharp sting of his broken bones, threatening to rip through his skin; his back was broken and he was paralyzed; he was going to die here on the shore of his injuries if someone didn't find him first and kill him.

Then he had met his creator; Ethan's memory grew fuzzy there, as he couldn't remember his face clearly, as he had been half blind from the start and Ethan never grew to care for his creator, as he had abandoned Ethan the moment he had been changed. He felt fear when bare feet stood next to him, the figure crouched over him, the slicing pain through his neck and then there was nothing.