Dear Old Best Friend,
I miss you. I miss the laughter we shared over the two years we spent together and the memories I will never forget. Your mind, with all the words stuck in it, just waiting to spill out, I miss it too. I just miss how close we were, and how we could talk about our writings and get so excited for each other. It was nice, blissful almost.
Yet, I can't believe you anymore. After you said those horrible things about me, the ones that I wasn't meant to hear, it hurt. It hurt more than any boy could ever. The way those words snaked round my neck and caused me to choke on their lies, it was painful. And, what hurt the most, is that you didn't even realize it. You felt like we could still be friends, that we could pretend it never happened, but you never forget the betrayal of someone you once called your best friend.
Remember? When we imagined growing old together and living under the same roof, with the words of books and our own writing surrounding us in the most wonderful way. The thought in theory was nice, but how could you have conversations about that when you secretly couldn't stand me?
Being jealous is one thing, but letting that jealousy cloud your perception of someone you care about is not part of a healthy relationship. Although I am sad that jealousy was what fueled those cruel words you said, I wish we were still friends, but only if you've become a more at peace with yourself since then.
I don't know if you'll ever read this, and I don't blame you considering I ended our friendship in a really shitty way, but if you do, please talk to me, and know I am sorry. I miss you, best friend, and I wish you all the best in this life you are creating for yourself.
Thank you for teaching me the value of myself in an indirect way. Now I know that I am a kind person, who makes mistakes, but is still kind. My success and past is part of me, and I don't need to be ashamed of that. I am who I am, and I need to own that. Maybe one day you will own that in yourself too, if you haven't already. I love you, old best friend, and may we cross paths again soon.
Sincerely,
Your former best friend
