The Happening of Things

Chapter 4 - Arrested Probably Featuring 0 Punctuation

Immediately after Falf and Jeph's impromptu 'conversation' with the first guard, another officer came in through the bay door, clearly one of higher ranking despite being clad in identical garb, possibly because there was a little 'Good Job!' sticker with a smiley face stuck to his uniform over his heart. He looked at Falfagen and Jephrey, approving of their invisible bindings, then looked across to the first guard, who had sat up straight in an attempt to look professional.

'These are the two you believe to have been present?' Whoops, he was actually a she. That'll teach you for assuming the gender of a character you invented, stupid narrator.*

'They were the only two human life forms remaining on the planet, serge,' replied the first guard.

'Has the petition I distributed to remove socially forced verbosity in law-enforcement agencies been signed by you as of yet?'

'No, serge'

'I cannot force my own opinions upon you, private, but I recommend you think about how it alienates members of the force from each other, compromising teamwork'

'Yes, serge'

'Back to the matter at hand,' the sergeant turned her head towards Falfagen and Jephrey. 'Do you know why we are here and why you have been incapacitated?'

'Does the GC know the name of your son's pet snail?'

With what can only be described as a flash, the sergeant spun Falfagen's stiff body off to one side and picked Jephrey up by the neck and slammed him against the wall. 'How do you know about my son's pet snail? That is classified information!'

'What the oblong pentameter? It was just a random analogy, come on!' complained Jeph.

The sergeant lowered him to the ground, where he promptly fell over because his body was still stiff as a nail. 'We do not speak of such things here. Neither of you must mention a word of this to higher authorities,' she looked over her shoulder at the other officer, who managed to look confused, shocked, stunned and about half of the other adjectives one might use in such a situation at the same time, despite his face being hidden under his mask, 'You are not allowed to say a word either, you are to come with me at the end of this shift.'

'Oh, um, I was ordered to stay late tonight, I'm on cafeteria duty.'

'I'll meet you afterwards with tea in that case, what kind?'

'Um, Maple black please.'

The sergeant paused and looked at the guard, he appeared to shrink under her gaze. After a silence that felt like a year, the sergeant spoke.

'I like your style.' She turned and headed towards the bridge, leaving both Jephrey and Falfagen reflecting on what may well have been the strangest few minutes of their life.

Minutes later the ship was out of the orbit of the Solar System housing Earth in sector 137**. The sergeant's voice came through the speakers in the ship's walls, informing the two passengers and singular crew member that the Instantaneous Transportation Device (ITD) is about to be engaged. With fair enough reason, Falfagen in his paralysed state began panicking, if you would recall back to the first chapter, you would understand why.

'Don't you dare! You have no idea what hellish things will come if you do not unbind me right this moment!' Falfagen moved all of his body that he could, being only his head and neck. The officer sitting on the far side of the bay did nothing to assist or stop the usage of the ITD, after a while of struggling Falfagen just shut his eyes tight and scrunched up his face, bracing for the inevitable.