The perfect storyline

Begins are always happy

Today I want to told you all things that I've been thinking about lately.

I started maybe an year ago and I'm not sure till today.

Im not in shame, but also I'm not shameless, I'm open to new things.

Before I start telling when and where it all begun I want you to know that I don't need to keep in my mind like intimate thing so imma write it like I was talking. It's easier..

So I think it started around 3rd grade in primary school or maybe thats when I first time notice it.

I'm gay, bisexual or.. and there this little misunderstanding I'm not sure...yet?

Maybe time can change something but we don't know what time actually is so maybe it is not the point.

I kind of told my parents, I suggested that maybe I'm not that much into boys as other girls, I even told them that if I was a boy I want to be gay.

They are tolerant, I'm sure they will understand but I don't want to share fake informations what firstly I need to understand it.

Back to my primary school I was absolutely into boys like amazed my whole troughs was around many of them, but once I notice that I feel the same kind of weird feeling around girls I started spending all my days with them.

Before, I was always wearing boys clothes, thinking that they going to adore me because of it, but it made me their best friend.

I never wear makeup especially not to get noticed.

Now I fall for everybody.

My mom ask me sometimes if I was in LGBT (in the lgbt month) but I wasn't actually sure and I don't want to say lie, what if I said yes and it came out that I'm not.. I don't know.

She always reminds me that it is nothing to be shame of and she will love me no matter what.. I love her.

Im not scared of what anybody is going to said, I was scared of myself knowing the truth I've never said it out loud.

I am also into gay men, I watched all series, movies and read all stories with them and I love it, sometimes I want to be one of them.. a gay man.

Being girl made me crazy I hate periods, being always the delicate one and all makeup chicks on street, but girls had one thing that straight boys don't have.. we feel more feelings we think about little things and boys with feelings like girls automatically become gay.. I don't think so but thats what people are talking.

In Poland, where I live since I was born in Warsaw, people don't share this things because it is not the best place for coming out, people won't accept you no matter what and how sad you are in your skin.

They look at you like you did something wrong and when I realized that I started wearing weird colorful clothes for them to watch.

I love being watched!

We all need attention.

So when you finally has a little overview of my story I can begin with telling my live episode, how I live with all this things and how others live with it.

I hope you like and If any of you need help or just talk write to me bbs!

I hope you'll like it.