NOTHING GIRL || Remus Lupin

-Twenty Eight: Impossible-

And then it hit her, like a ton of bricks, why couldn't they know? What was the point in all the secrecy? Helia was sure it was the tiredness that was making her mind do stupid things, and she barely knew Remus Lupin, but the longing to tell someone, to say it out loud just to hear it being said, cut at her chest.

Was it this desperate, hungry desire for truth that made the air between them feel super charged as Remus slid onto the bench next to her? Was it the knowledge that, with just a few words, she could finally tell someone who understood the wizarding world that lead her hands to shake subtly so that she had to ball them into fists in her lap? Or was it something else entirely?

"Um," Remus cleared his throat "Hi."

If he picked up on any of the no doubt countless odd expressions parading across her face, he didn't show it.

She cocked a grin. "Hey."

"Where's Derek?" Remus glanced around as if he expected the whale to appear from behind a stack of books.

Helia shrugged "He likes the Astronomy Tower."

"So?"

Helia grinned wickedly "So Professor Trelawney is going to have a surprise tomorrow morning."

Of course she couldn't tell him. If she did, he would try to stop her. And she couldn't handle that on top of everything else.

There was a moment of silence where Helia contemplated all the things she would say if she could.

I'm scared.

The bench was obviously smaller than Remus anticipated, and as he shifted awkwardly, his legs brushed Helia's, sending little shivers of electricity dancing up them.

"What're you doing here?" Remus asked, trying to alleviate the quiet.

Scratch that, I'm bloody terrified.

Helia smirked, keeping she face impassive. "Just your average evil villain stuff. You know, plotting, wastefully murdering henchmen, sitting in a leather chair stroking a cat."

They want me to play the hero. To fight to my last.

"And what does your villainous self think of werewolves joining your forces?"

But I don't want to be a hero.

"As long as they're willing to sit like a good boy, I don't see the problem."

And, if I fight, I want it to be on my terms.

"And if they join the good guys?"

Whatever side of this battle you're on, there is one thing in common.

Helia's eyes glittered like sapphires in the failing lamplight. "No mercy."

No mercy.

Remus returned to his common room not long after that, obviously confused by her aloofness. Helia had wanted to kick herself, but was soon reminded of the consequences by a text message when she returned to her Top Secret No One Can Know hiding place that night:

From: Unknown
Hel, I want you to know I'm here for you. We'll get through this together. Six months is longer than you think. Please don't give up.

Something in Helia was cracking, breaking open. Sixth months. She had to believe she had that long left, if only for her brother's sake.

.,..............

"Who snuck Lin in here?"

Helia followed Lin into her Sixth Year Ravenclaw Girl's Dormitory the next morning to see Jade, who had spoken, watching her friend with a not-too-pleased expression. Helia gave an exaggerated sigh to announce her presence and strolled into the room nonchalantly.