I opened my eyes, tired from my slumber as my body felt gloomy. I've been feeling that way for the past year and each year of my existence manages to get worst as I breathe. My body rested on my queen size mattress under bright pink sheets and comforters. My favorite color was always pink. My room surrounded by white-painted walls on every corner it's strange how every home I had the walls of the room I claimed, I never witness a brush of color paint added to my bedroom walls. Pictures tape to my bedroom walls showing smiles I held proudly to my younger face. I wish I could smile like that again. Back to when I was younger and didn't know the world and dreamt how things were simple. God was I wrong.
I forced myself out of my bed removing myself from my plain blue and white stripe nightgown. Walking over to my closet the closet doors were broken off the hedges and left my closet open. I reached for my white sundress that I rarely wear I'm not a big fan of dresses since every time I walk in them for too long my inner thighs gets a rash and I have an urge to scratch and I don't want to, people would think I have crabs or something, but since this is my last day here I might as well put it on since this was the dress that I'd met Dan in.
I got into the white long flowing sundress and decided to wear sandals to match alongside the grandmother earrings she always was there for me, she understood me. I look at my reflection in the mirror. I smiled at how beautiful the earrings look on me, it compliments my brown chocolate skin. I love my smile; I use to get so many compliments on it. I grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand along with my money, ID, pencil, pocket notebook, and house keys. I walked out of my bedroom into the bathroom brushing my teeth. The quiet sounds around my house letting me know that everyone was either gone or asleep.
I walk to the living room to see my brother and his friends sleeping on the couch. With the television silent as the TV channel showed Courage the Cowardly Dog. That show scared me when I was younger. I open the front door locking the bottom lock behind me, as I began to walk to the bus stop. I stood there alongside a few strangers waiting for the bus to arrive.
When the bus came I got on paying my fee taking the first open seat I have seen. The bus is usually filled with all different kinds of people kids, teens, and adults going who know where. Growing up my family usually would get around by bus when we couldn't really get a ride to where we needed since taxi cabs were a little expensive for us. When the bus made it to my stop I got off the bus, walking into the plaza of my favorite restaurant going inside as I grabbed a table picking up the menu I ordered 2 chocolate chip pancakes with a side of bacon. I waited for my food to finish being prepared, as I waited to look around the restaurant my phone in hand. I look around and saw all the happy couple's friends and family, I wondered what everyone else life was like? I thought about the people they probably know and what they went home to.
The warm plate of pancakes was placed in front of me. The fluffy pancake and melting chocolate fill around my mouth. It tastes good and sweet like the pancakes my grandma use to make. My mind full memories of how I always enjoyed the taste of fluffy chocolate pancakes that filled me every time. Finishing my food as I savored the last that was there, it was the first real food I've actually eaten in weeks. Since my momma ran off with her new boyfriend. My big brother, his tapeworm girlfriend and his disrespectful friends ate most of what's been left over. I've been eating nothing but corner stores 50 cent snacks and drinks trying to spend less for the past week.
I grabbed my belongings and began to walk outside. Back into the world, as everyday people were in their cars going to work and whatever they do in the morning. It must be nice to own a car.
I walk along the sidewalk by the road I couldn't think of anything as the sound of cars pushing against the wind and the sound of motors filled my head making it hard for me to clear my thoughts on my cheap earbuds aren't good enough to even muffle the street sounds. A few cars honked at me as I walked by, mostly men drivers staring at my body. I walk to the bus stop and sat on the bench.
I decided that I'll go to the beach Dan took me to haven't been there since that night he'd rape me. I only wanted to go there because I had so many memories at the beach and every day was special and every night was beautiful at night all you could of see was the bright glowing moon, the shining blankets of stars that cover the night sapphire sky.
